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Paula Trucks-Pape's avatar

I battle the exhaustion and anxiety by trying to remember that nothing is either/or and no outcome is ever certain (i.e. the final destruction of habitats amenable to human -- and other -- life). So yes, I buy shoes, but with awareness (not judgement). And I fly, but not if I can reasonably choose other transportation. And as far as possible I consume less, use less energy, reuse everything, but again, not with judgement. I try to remember that berating myself and others helps no one. Radical acceptance of detrimental human behavior is sooooo hard, but as long as I'm making what I view as positive steps in my corner, I have to be satisfied with that. I can affect, but never control, what others do. And who knows what humans in aggregate will do in the future? Things can change on a dime. And that's enough to give me hope most days.

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Paula Trucks-Pape's avatar

P.S. The arms and attitude of that metal deer sculpture are so comforting.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

That’s lovely!! Thank you!!

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Martina's avatar

Poor dear, all the complications and intertwined stupidities, whether personal or on large scales, seem to suck up all the energy. When I am there, I turn to art, the best I can get to (hence my return to Shakespeare lately), dive in and experience that humans can be great. And, as art often expresses strong emotions, I am not alone.

And I turn to nature, especially birds, listening. Bird listening has two gorgeous advantages for me: birds are always available (thanks dear pidgeons who are despised so often). And if you are listening to birds, you automatically look up. So an easy Goodbye to a hanging head. And it probably activates the 'calm and connect' mode of the vagus nerve... may all the birds on your way today lighten up your heart. 🤗

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

I just went camping for four days and it was so delightful to listen to all the birds, close and far, and the wind in the trees and the SILENCE. It was what I needed. And I agree, art is the balm too!

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Pips's avatar

When I'm feeling lousy, emotionally and/or physically, it can be easy to put it off on others and "the world," when really it's me. It can be easy to "catastrophize," and see doom and gloom everywhere, or feel guilty for having a moment of joy. When I get like that, I find it can help to take a break from news and the internet. And maybe get checked out, a thorough physical to see if there might be something behind the exhaustion, like sleep apnea, anemia, thyroid issues, hypertension, AFib, etc. (some medications also cause fatigue -- I know some of mine do); I'm overdue for one myself. And maybe talk to a therapist, too, have a neutral person to hear us out, give us strategies to cope; it's helped me a lot in the past (I could use it again). The world is the world; we have to be able to live in it (and maybe buy extra flood insurance -- I live in Florida). Managing my expectations helps as well, especially as I'm getting older; I'm not going to be windsurfing anytime soon. I'm unlikely to win the National Book Award, but I can enjoy the writing I do. And if I fall off my diet or stop writing for awhile, I can give myself (and others) some grace. Remind myself all that I do have, remember my gratitude.

Wishing everyone peace and wellness. And maybe a Dolly Parton donut (they're really good).

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

these are all such good ways to cope! Thank you so much!

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Carina Grasbeck's avatar

You are absolutely friggin right!!

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Thank you! it’s good not to be alone!

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Eleanor's avatar

Thank you for articulating how complicated it feels to live at the moment.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

thank you for reading!

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Claire Mackinnon's avatar

Thank you for naming this, and especially thank you for bringing it out into the open without offering a neatly packaged solution for us to feel better/ [I'm so tired of blogs that offer those!] I went to one of Joanna Macy's Work that Reconnects workshops (not with her, but two other wonderful facilitators) a couple of years ago, and found such healing in spending a whole day with others, who like you, were prepared to honestly express around this topic. And whilst it freed up energy to take meaningful action, it is still exhausting. I think it's supposed to be. We're supposed to look at what's happening, and feel it. The more I accept that, it is somehow more possible to be with the discomfort of it all.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

I think that's part of what exhausts me, trying to have solutions. I also agree that acceptance is always the key and why is it always so easy for me to forget that??? But it's one thing to accept my own foibles and another to accept the suffering and death of so many because of the greed of so few. But it's the work, isn't it? Stretch to do that or end up broken in two.

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

I hear you and feel this way sometimes, but I have to share, I had a huge boost to my spirit by attending my son's graduation last weekend at CU Boulder. Thankfully, the ceremonies had zero disruption from neither protesters nor covid (while I believe in free speech, these kids—whose high school graduations were ruined by covid—deserved an upbeat traditional graduation). Hundreds and hundreds of young adults exuded positivity, gratitude, and excitement. My son is stoked about his summer ahead. Our future is in the hands of these smart, caring young adults. We always face threats—if not long-term heating of the planet, then nukes and other unthinkable man-made catastrophes plus natural disasters like fire and flood. Just keep on doing the best you can. Love is always an answer. Spread love by treating others kindly and raising loving, kind, do-gooder kids.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

that’s so awesome! nothing like a hit of youth to uplift. Thanks for sharing put a smile on my face!! Also I read your piece last night and I thought it’s not uncommon to have a post retreat dip… integration is so much more work than the state change of a retreat. :)

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Bridget Belden's avatar

Thank you for this piece and expressing so beautifully that exhaustion that can be all encompassing and overwhelming. When I find myself in that space, I try to zoom back in to the present moment, back into my own realm, and consider an action I can take in that moment to raise my energy. Do I need rest? Do I need nourishment? Do I need a solo dance party? And then I do that. Sometimes I have to go through 2-3 options (or more) to feel recharged enough to show up in a way that reflects what I want to see in this world. There is something beautiful that happens when I remove myself from the ‘other’ that feels out of control, and focus instead on how I can impact my reality in that moment.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Bridget thank you for sharing what you do. That’s so powerful and so true: remove ourselves from the other that feels out of our control.

I’ll be reflecting on that. 🫶🏽

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Laura K Bray's avatar

I was just sobbing to my husband about how fatigued I am. Not just by the climate, but life-aging parents, post-menopausal health issues, the continued grief of living in a world where we all just endured a horrible pandemic. Is it something in the air? That solar storm that brought us so much beauty? I'm taking some time to simply reset my nervous system. I wish you rest, Jennifer. Take all the time you need.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Thanks, friend. I am taking off for a four day off the grid camping trip with my four-legged and two-legged beloveds in the morning. It will be a good balm. Wishing you rest too!

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May 15, 2024
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Jennifer Louden's avatar

thanks for reading this — I felt very uncomfortable writing it. I appreciate your words so much.

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May 15, 2024
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Jennifer Louden's avatar

I hear you. Meditation does help and in person with like minded people is key. I’m finding admitting my exhaustion helped too. Big hugs! 🫶🏽

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Paula Trucks-Pape's avatar

A women's circle is such a good idea for addressing issues like this one.

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