29 Comments
User's avatar
Donna McArthur's avatar

This seems to be the topic of the week as I wrote about this exact thing, our words echo each other! It is a beautiful thing to see so many women begin to recognize that our worth is not tied to how much we run around like a crazy chicken.

Expand full comment
Julie's avatar

I wish I would have gotten that particular memo sooner.

Expand full comment
Donna McArthur's avatar

Right!?!?

Expand full comment
Mary Sloat's avatar

I’m working on letting go of “being” a certain way so others aren’t embarrassed or angry about what I say or do. Reaching for authenticity rather than conformity. It’s a struggle but also strangely satisfying when I’m successful.

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

so satisfying! I thought this today "What if nobody needed you to be anybody or anything other than what you are today - and every day? And if they do, that's their issue, not yours." Hugs!

Expand full comment
Shawn Fink's avatar

Yes. Is it wrong I saved the badge and plan to make it my computer screen image? I always appreciate your deep honesty. Being in biz — 11 years for me — is a mind game that promotes hustle culture for good reason! Our security depends on it! Hugs to you!

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

ha! it is not wrong, it is a good reminder! maybe I should do the same thing.

Expand full comment
Maria Anderson's avatar

A relevant topic for my life. Thank you for sharing this today. For me, it is forgiving myself and others that I work on every day; some days are better than others.

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

I’m so glad it was useful!!

Expand full comment
Karen Robinson's avatar

How many times around the hamster wheel I have been until this last year of writing and finding that is really useful therapy for me. Letting go of having to know more, be more, do more. Being my true self more and more. Applying what i know rather than spouting it. Embodying the me that I am.

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

I was thinking today that part of my hamster wheel behavior is because I have so much energy and I’m more comfortable doing stuff often then not. Just reflecting on the role our individual personalities play too. No big insight here 😬 just me thinking out loud.

Expand full comment
Karen Robinson's avatar

I have learned a lot from getting to know my Human Design. Do you know it? I understand my energy better and what's good for me and what's not. I have had very low energy from a shut down nervous system and been learning to re-regulate which has also been life changing to understand what's going on in my biology.

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

Someone gave me a session in it years ago but to be honest it was too confusing for me to get much out of it.

Expand full comment
Karen Robinson's avatar

There is a lot to it but you can work out a lot yourself and you don't need to go very deep to start with. It's not for everybody though

Expand full comment
Nathalie Lussier's avatar

Nobody needs this "tries harder than everyone" badge. Always brilliant Jen!

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

Thanks friend!!

Expand full comment
Karly Randolph Pitman's avatar

Beautiful, Jen, thank you. Oh, yes the working so hard. Life can be so alarming. And working hard can help me feel safe in the midst of so many alarming things that are out of my control. Your writing reminds me of a Colbie Caillat song that my daughters shared with me, and that I often sing to myself - "You don't have to try so hard."

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

that's lovely I'll look that song up!!! Would be good for me to have on repeat.

Expand full comment
Maddie Burton's avatar

Adore this message. (And I love that you talked about ketamine! I took my mom to a few sessions in 2022, and it was a fascinating process to witness.)

This morning, I was reading the “work at a natural pace” section in Cal Newport’s book Slow Productivity. He talked about all the amazing scientific breakthroughs that happened over ridiculously long timescales at what we’d all consider a really leisurely pace. It was a helpful reminder to me today!

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

Leisurely pace - aren’t those nice words!! 🫶🏽

Expand full comment
Jennifer Miller (she/her)'s avatar

I get this. I have a loving voice breaking through all the self doubt lately saying, “You don’t need to strive so so much.” Then little me says back, “ Are you sure?” It is hard to trust. When I can let go, though, it feels right.

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

it is a matter of trust isn't it?

Expand full comment
Sculpting A Life's avatar

Letting go of rushing around “being a moving target” while this was a survival skill, I don’t need it anymore. I’m working on ‘breathing’ and saying, I am safe, strong and healthy.

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

safety is such a part of changing this pattern for me too!

Expand full comment
Raina Jaina's avatar

I am so happy to hear that you are done working your little fingers to nubs! We have gotten so much from you already! The impact you have made is immense! I know you are writing a book but guess what? When it is done, in a month or in 17 years, we will be eager to read it.

You have done enough! Please believe it and let some things go. No one would blame you- and if they did, so what?

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

your voice on repeat in my head -- thank you!!!

Expand full comment
Shari Langner's avatar

Plagiarizing my weird little brain again, I see. ❤️ Always hustling to earn my little patch of earth on this big ol’ blue ball. And on the cusp of failing,always on the cusp. And yet never really “succeeding” either. Delightful, really. And bonus, living in a state where ketamine assisted therapy is not a thing yet. Probably never will be. We’re backwards like that. I still have talk therapy and EMDR, grateful for that. Much love to you today and every day, Jen. You gave my life a boost,several actually. Hope you know that.

Expand full comment
Jennifer Louden's avatar

I'm so glad, because you deserve all the boosts! EMDR was super powerful for me too. much love!

Expand full comment
Shawn Fink's avatar

Done! 🤩 And, with this I am now logging off to take the day off I planned and put on my schedule for today!

Expand full comment