You've never looked happier, Anne. You know I agree that It's Not Too Late! I'm the poster child for It's NEVER Too Late! having earned an M.A. at 71 and a PhD at 76 with books published at 79 and 84 years old. And I'm still joyfully making discoveries and presentations as I approach 90. I must say, though, you might have to do IT differently. Follow your dreams as early as you can, but don't give them up completely. Stay open to possibility.
I think I want to be you!! No. I know I want to be you!! I’m going to go back through that hidden treasure of childhood dreams and see what comes up. thanks Miki ❤️
"I check in with myself often, focusing on my desires instead of my fears." That got me! I am one who takes risks and completely changed my life at fifty by beginning a seven year college degree to become a psychotherapist (this after getting kicked out of high school at fifteen, married at sixteen, motherhood at seventeen) and when, halfway through my education it was discovered I had a brain tumor, I finished the next three years online while recovering. It's a long winding story...but I find I still have too much fear.I blame the pandemic/political atmosphere, but I've always battled anxiety to one degree (panic disorder/agoraphobia) or another (feeling periods of complete freedom it). That..."focusing on my desires instead of my fears," stopped me in my tracks. Wisdom and oh, so needed.
Hi Jennifer, in the spirit of respectful sharing, I'd like to contribute another perspective that might not necessarily match what is unfolding for you (and others here), but could be a thread in the tapestry. Just one of the options. For many years as an indie recording artist, releasing dreamy music on various labels, I had felt societal pressure to travel, tour and network. I collaborated widely with artists in many nations, volunteered in non-profit Arts clubs and kept up other jobs in parallel, such as teaching English, admin, editing and fairy storytelling. Eventually my health broke down. I realised that I was never going to finish the novels or chronicles I'd started, unless I stepped away. I signed off my label, stopped working and left the city. For my creativity to flourish, so(u)litude is soulful. I am happiest at home, with a cat and a book. Give me a week with the garden as well, and I'm in bliss. Not all of us are good at travel. (And just as well, for the sake of ecology!) It's ok to be a homebody and not feel guilty. This is not a criticism of people who live drastically different lives from my own. The universe can embrace our different kinds of wildness. Some of us have chronic health challenges (for me, quite a raft of them), and neurodiversity is very real too. Self respect can be as simple as slowing down, saying no, and listening to our inner wise crone. Fey hugs :-) L x
Louisa that's lovely perspective and feels very similar, in my mind, to what Anne shared. I find the upshot of Anne's post (maybe having read her others helped me get this perspective) to be far less about travel and much more about finding her version of what you have found -- a way to be with her creative self and be healthy too. I am a homebody and often in bed by 8! I hope the message Anne's words give is finding the healthy way for you! Thanks Louisa for commenting, I appreciate your thoughts so much.
I just wrote a post about how I'm no longer sure I can keep going at the pace I am...because I have chronic illnesses (fibroymalgia and ME/CFS) and because I really want to focus on my fiction writing. I want to step away from a lot of what I'm doing, but financially, it's not possible. I'm trying to figure out the next path to take. I love your last sentence: "slowing down, saying no, and listening to our inner wise crone." YES!
Very sorry to hear of your illness, Melissa. Painful, and frustrating if it affects your writerly fingers? I have osteo-arthritis, but the clincher for me is vascular; a SCAD (spontaneous coronary artery dissection) behind my heart, prompting diagnosis of an aneurysm between my neck and brain. I call her Pearlie.
Oh my goodness! That sounds terrifying! Is there anything they can do for it? My hands really used to hurt years ago, but that’s seemed to ease up, so I’m still able to type. The exhaustion is the worst, though; feels like I have the flu a lot.
Your mention of crone reminds of the work of dr Sharon Blackie, her books ( one being hagitude) and substack are so affirming for women and hags (like myself!)
Fair point. Circumstances are a factor. For example, among friends who've had children, several tell me that they need to keep working to afford their youngsters' education. I sincerely respect such callings.
I read the book FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY in the mid 90s, just before taking a leap into grad school at age 42. I'd been a medical technologist for 20+ years, but got a master's in journalism and wrote books and articles for a while. Thirteen years later, I became an alternatively certified teacher, and began teaching science to teen moms. Another career swerve. I was scared to death, but I didn't give up. Fear can drive you into a small life if you let it. Women are strong. We're capable of a lot more than we've been taught to expect. Here's to every strong woman who says, "What the hell, sign me up!"
Seven years ago I left Australia for Finland and love. I'm now 50, have started a business and trying semi-nomadic life. I write, draw, create, sing in a rock band, built a sauna, study, learn, grow, breathe, swim, walk, stretch... Life is amazing. And sometimes a bit shit. But it's never to late to make a change.
Such a great interview with Anne! Thank you! I'm embarking on a new journey - moving halfway across the country from Nebraska to Virginia simply because I want to live somewhere new, somewhere rich with the history that I love.
Sorry - just now saw this comment. Ha! I am planning to move at the end of December (my daughter has college finals, otherwise we'd go when my lease is up at the end of November). I'm excited and terrified at the same time!
There’s a famous quote “fear is just excitement with the breath” which can help us remember to breathe but also reminds me that fear can be a signal I’m doing something I want very much!
I love that quote! I think I’d be very worried if I was breezy and carefree about all of this…the fear is indeed reminding me that this is the direction I need to go.
At 66.7 I keep telling myself it's not too late. My neck, jaw, and shoulders have stayed tight for 50 years—reading this really is a wakeup call. One life. I don't want to spend one more minute staying in a knot with tars rolling down my cheeks. Fear of success or failure shouldn't be a factor at this point, just taking that first step is what matters. Nice read with some inspiring, thought-provoking words. Thank you.
"So many of us have a limit in our minds of what we think we deserve or can accomplish. It’s hard to imagine being able to surpass that limit." This rings so true for me - and making decisions based on my fears vs. my desires. It's a mindset change that requires constant vigilance for me to not talk myself out of things.
Thank you, Jen, for introducing us to Anne and her work! What strikes me is her description of how her body was telling her something needed to shift. "Underneath all of that stress and pain was a deep longing for another (simpler, happier) life." My body speaks to me through tightness and pain as well; chronic back pain flares when I am anxious or stressed. I'm in one of those times now, and trying to be as gentle and caring toward my body as I can be as I try to focus on desires instead of fears.
YES! the body is always talking and so much of pain and discomfort needs to be addressed through our emotions and thoughts — movement matters of course and other stuff but the brain would rather send us pain signals then emotional discomfort. :)
Completely agree with you. I feel like my body is in a perpetual state of tension from 18 years of living with a narcissist (my ex-husband). That marriage led to me developing chronic illnesses, and now it is SO hard for me to just "be." My nervous system is stuck in "fight or flight" mode and I desperately want that simple, happier life.
I felt this writing deep in my soul! I’m at such a point of transformation, which is sometimes a glorious unfolding, and sometimes a scared little huddle. I needed to read this today. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thanks to you both, the whole final paragraph spoke so clearly to me, touching my heart and soul, reminding me the journey to me is the most important of all.
You've never looked happier, Anne. You know I agree that It's Not Too Late! I'm the poster child for It's NEVER Too Late! having earned an M.A. at 71 and a PhD at 76 with books published at 79 and 84 years old. And I'm still joyfully making discoveries and presentations as I approach 90. I must say, though, you might have to do IT differently. Follow your dreams as early as you can, but don't give them up completely. Stay open to possibility.
Miki thank you for being a poster child for me. I am so inspired to keep going!
Miki is a dear friend of mine and has been a beacon for me of what is possible for years. Inspiration is not a big enough word for it!! ❤️❤️
I figured and I thought "what a wonderful friend to have!"
I think I want to be you!! No. I know I want to be you!! I’m going to go back through that hidden treasure of childhood dreams and see what comes up. thanks Miki ❤️
You are so inspiring!!!
"I check in with myself often, focusing on my desires instead of my fears." That got me! I am one who takes risks and completely changed my life at fifty by beginning a seven year college degree to become a psychotherapist (this after getting kicked out of high school at fifteen, married at sixteen, motherhood at seventeen) and when, halfway through my education it was discovered I had a brain tumor, I finished the next three years online while recovering. It's a long winding story...but I find I still have too much fear.I blame the pandemic/political atmosphere, but I've always battled anxiety to one degree (panic disorder/agoraphobia) or another (feeling periods of complete freedom it). That..."focusing on my desires instead of my fears," stopped me in my tracks. Wisdom and oh, so needed.
I’m so glad that was helpful!! What a story you’ve had Linda. And what resilience. ❤️
I’m so glad that reframe hit you like it did. It’s hard not to be fearful. Especially with cancer in our lives. My best to you!
You too, Anne!
Hi Jennifer, in the spirit of respectful sharing, I'd like to contribute another perspective that might not necessarily match what is unfolding for you (and others here), but could be a thread in the tapestry. Just one of the options. For many years as an indie recording artist, releasing dreamy music on various labels, I had felt societal pressure to travel, tour and network. I collaborated widely with artists in many nations, volunteered in non-profit Arts clubs and kept up other jobs in parallel, such as teaching English, admin, editing and fairy storytelling. Eventually my health broke down. I realised that I was never going to finish the novels or chronicles I'd started, unless I stepped away. I signed off my label, stopped working and left the city. For my creativity to flourish, so(u)litude is soulful. I am happiest at home, with a cat and a book. Give me a week with the garden as well, and I'm in bliss. Not all of us are good at travel. (And just as well, for the sake of ecology!) It's ok to be a homebody and not feel guilty. This is not a criticism of people who live drastically different lives from my own. The universe can embrace our different kinds of wildness. Some of us have chronic health challenges (for me, quite a raft of them), and neurodiversity is very real too. Self respect can be as simple as slowing down, saying no, and listening to our inner wise crone. Fey hugs :-) L x
Louisa that's lovely perspective and feels very similar, in my mind, to what Anne shared. I find the upshot of Anne's post (maybe having read her others helped me get this perspective) to be far less about travel and much more about finding her version of what you have found -- a way to be with her creative self and be healthy too. I am a homebody and often in bed by 8! I hope the message Anne's words give is finding the healthy way for you! Thanks Louisa for commenting, I appreciate your thoughts so much.
Yes that's a sage point, Jennifer; on reflection the upshot was probably less about literal travel, and more about inner freedom :-)
I just wrote a post about how I'm no longer sure I can keep going at the pace I am...because I have chronic illnesses (fibroymalgia and ME/CFS) and because I really want to focus on my fiction writing. I want to step away from a lot of what I'm doing, but financially, it's not possible. I'm trying to figure out the next path to take. I love your last sentence: "slowing down, saying no, and listening to our inner wise crone." YES!
Very sorry to hear of your illness, Melissa. Painful, and frustrating if it affects your writerly fingers? I have osteo-arthritis, but the clincher for me is vascular; a SCAD (spontaneous coronary artery dissection) behind my heart, prompting diagnosis of an aneurysm between my neck and brain. I call her Pearlie.
Oh my goodness! That sounds terrifying! Is there anything they can do for it? My hands really used to hurt years ago, but that’s seemed to ease up, so I’m still able to type. The exhaustion is the worst, though; feels like I have the flu a lot.
Your mention of crone reminds of the work of dr Sharon Blackie, her books ( one being hagitude) and substack are so affirming for women and hags (like myself!)
Thanks Jo Jo, I'll have to find that book about hagitude! Fabulous. Sharon Blackie: noted with glee.
Yes, of course! As I have written about, my life of travel has had a lot of challenges that aren’t for everyone.
Very much enjoying the conversations here at Substack! Thanks for inspiring us :-)
me too!
Agreed. Also, not all of us can afford to travel (and/or drop everything in our lives) to find ourselves. I'd become homeless if I tried that.
Fair point. Circumstances are a factor. For example, among friends who've had children, several tell me that they need to keep working to afford their youngsters' education. I sincerely respect such callings.
I read the book FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY in the mid 90s, just before taking a leap into grad school at age 42. I'd been a medical technologist for 20+ years, but got a master's in journalism and wrote books and articles for a while. Thirteen years later, I became an alternatively certified teacher, and began teaching science to teen moms. Another career swerve. I was scared to death, but I didn't give up. Fear can drive you into a small life if you let it. Women are strong. We're capable of a lot more than we've been taught to expect. Here's to every strong woman who says, "What the hell, sign me up!"
what the hell, sign me up! yes!!
Nope. It's never too late.
Seven years ago I left Australia for Finland and love. I'm now 50, have started a business and trying semi-nomadic life. I write, draw, create, sing in a rock band, built a sauna, study, learn, grow, breathe, swim, walk, stretch... Life is amazing. And sometimes a bit shit. But it's never to late to make a change.
That is so awesome! What’s the name of your band?? And a business in another country too — extra amazing. Thank you for this uplift!
As someone once said, ‘if your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough’! Good point! : )
Such a great interview with Anne! Thank you! I'm embarking on a new journey - moving halfway across the country from Nebraska to Virginia simply because I want to live somewhere new, somewhere rich with the history that I love.
Oh what an adventure! When do you start?
Sorry - just now saw this comment. Ha! I am planning to move at the end of December (my daughter has college finals, otherwise we'd go when my lease is up at the end of November). I'm excited and terrified at the same time!
There’s a famous quote “fear is just excitement with the breath” which can help us remember to breathe but also reminds me that fear can be a signal I’m doing something I want very much!
I love that quote! I think I’d be very worried if I was breezy and carefree about all of this…the fear is indeed reminding me that this is the direction I need to go.
At 66.7 I keep telling myself it's not too late. My neck, jaw, and shoulders have stayed tight for 50 years—reading this really is a wakeup call. One life. I don't want to spend one more minute staying in a knot with tars rolling down my cheeks. Fear of success or failure shouldn't be a factor at this point, just taking that first step is what matters. Nice read with some inspiring, thought-provoking words. Thank you.
"So many of us have a limit in our minds of what we think we deserve or can accomplish. It’s hard to imagine being able to surpass that limit." This rings so true for me - and making decisions based on my fears vs. my desires. It's a mindset change that requires constant vigilance for me to not talk myself out of things.
Yes! It gets better easier with practice, but it definitely requires reminding oneself over and over again as new neural pathways form.
What a great interview! I loved reading this version of Anne’s story. Thank you for pulling out these threads.
Thank you, Jen, for introducing us to Anne and her work! What strikes me is her description of how her body was telling her something needed to shift. "Underneath all of that stress and pain was a deep longing for another (simpler, happier) life." My body speaks to me through tightness and pain as well; chronic back pain flares when I am anxious or stressed. I'm in one of those times now, and trying to be as gentle and caring toward my body as I can be as I try to focus on desires instead of fears.
YES! the body is always talking and so much of pain and discomfort needs to be addressed through our emotions and thoughts — movement matters of course and other stuff but the brain would rather send us pain signals then emotional discomfort. :)
Completely agree with you. I feel like my body is in a perpetual state of tension from 18 years of living with a narcissist (my ex-husband). That marriage led to me developing chronic illnesses, and now it is SO hard for me to just "be." My nervous system is stuck in "fight or flight" mode and I desperately want that simple, happier life.
I felt this writing deep in my soul! I’m at such a point of transformation, which is sometimes a glorious unfolding, and sometimes a scared little huddle. I needed to read this today. Thank you so much for sharing.
This was great. Thanks!
Great interview with one of my favorite authors!
Thanks for reading Jill!
Thanks to you both, the whole final paragraph spoke so clearly to me, touching my heart and soul, reminding me the journey to me is the most important of all.
I'm so glad it resonated!
And the ability to be present to the journey — that’s so key!
It is wonderful to see you Soaring!