On giving up tracking and tallying

learning to live (mostly) without measurement

Hi to my new subscribers. Welcome. I hope you like it here.

Who I am: I spent my career writing personal growth books about women’s empowerment, speaking and leading retreats, also coaching writers on their books and how to market effectively. I’m working on a novel and my last book was about hope even though it has a cheeky non-hopeful title.

An interesting thing has been happening over the last few months: I’m less and less interested in measuring and tracking what I do.

Like how many days I meditate in a row, which my meditation app helpfully likes to show me. Or how many miles I run in a week, which my watch tracks. Or how many words I write, which my writing program displays at the bottom of the page. Or books I read or steps I take or water I drink or…

Of course, counting and tracking can be awesome. I’m not saying it’s inherently bad not at all. We humans thrive on seeing our progress especially on big projects like writing a book.And it can be naive not to keep track of things like your income and expenses or sugar intake if you manage diabetes or whatever you need for your health.

For example, I work with my writing coaching clients to decide how they want to track their progress on their books, newsletters, and marketing. I always say “Hold your targets and deadlines lightly, so they pull you forward, not make you feel bitch slapped.”

Track whatever helps you live life the way you want. Of course!

And for me, some forms of keeping score became a problem.

I realized I was more intent on checking off what I’d done than being present for what I was doing.

Was I meditating because I find it a profound way to be in life and know myself, or was I meditating to keep my streak going?

Was I writing a novel because I’d decided it wasn’t too late to immerse myself in story-telling and learning this beautiful craft or because I wanted to reach my word count?

Was I writing this newsletter to pay attention to what matters and help others, or to amass subscribers so I could impress a future publisher?

I hated that I would sit down to write and click away to check something off my list. Or that I would feel better about myself on the weeks I ran more miles than less.

I asked myself was my tracking helping me be kind, be present, to create whole-heartedly?

Mostly: no.

I began to let go of measuring. I didn’t make a plan or even notice I was doing it. I just wanted to feel freer, and I wanted to go deeper into my writing, and my life.

Less completing the check mark, less earning the gold star, more opening my mind and heart to what is here now.

Some measuring where it feels useful but more generally am I feeling good about where I am and what I’m doing?

Some days this approach feels amazing, more like this than counting miles…

Other days, I wonder if I’m being stupid and going to lose track of what matters. I have a big fear of forgetting things and not being responsible (childhood stories) so I still use my to-doist app but with some new lightness.

I’ll keep you posted on how this goes.

I’d love to know — have you given up any forms of measuring what you do? Or do you have a way of tracking and measuring that works great for you? We’re growing a sweet welcoming community and I’d love to learn from you and support you if I can.

No wrong answers — all opinions and approaches are so very welcome. Just click the purple button to comment.

Love,

Jen