The first thing I gave up was the fancy pedometer/wristwatch thing that told me how many steps I'd taken and when I'd been sitting for too long and how I'd slept and when I should go to bed and wake up. I saw a comedy routine that lampooned this--how our devices were basically running our lives. And, yes, why was I letting myself be bossed around by this thing? So I ditched that.
Then I realized I never wanted to track my calorie intake again, either. What a way to suck all the joy out of eating.
I saw a post somewhere around the New Year's that talked about adding modalities to our lives. I don't really know what a modality, but what I liked was this idea of identifying the things in your life that bring you pleasure and joy and trying to add more of that to each day. So what are five things that make me happy? Writing. Walking. Spending time with friends. Being in nature. Reading. I don't have to track that, I can just be mindful about trying to fit those things into my day. I won't always get all of them. But the more I manage, the better I'll feel. That approach feels satisfying to me.
I adore this!! So true and beautiful. And yes it was our insurance company giving us fitbits and paying us to move in certain ways that made me start this whole WTF? With the counting. 👊🏼
You are the kind voice of reason! I think it can helpful to use tracking to get yourself into a habit, but after awhile it can eclipse the goal and take on more meaning than it should.
I’ve been working on relaxing more over the last few years, a recovering perfectionist formerly in a corporate environment, I was a master at tracking and planning. I used to spend Sunday nights looking at personal yearly, monthly and weekly progress and plan the next week for virtually every area of my life. This year I haven’t even formalized goals and instead am experimenting with a new way. I wrote a letter of wonder to 2024, and my main criteria for decisions are comfort and joy. Some full weeks have had a loose plan with checkboxes but it’s funny how things get done even without them- maybe according to a bigger plan? Starting my Substack has brought a new challenge in relaxing but I’m hopeful that some experience will help making it less stressful/more relaxed and fun and don’t regret my decision to start it.
I give myself a sticker on days that I write. Green dot for novel writing, red dot for Substack and blue dot for when I update the log about my husband's illness. I think you are right though. It is possible to over track and also spending too much time on your phone. If you are in the flow and doing your stuff regularly then great.
This was a wonderful post and exactly how I’m feeling. I started this year with signing up for a yearlong writing group and had goals, and then my dad fell down the steps and he was caretaking my mom and all that changed.
I haven’t given up, but I just let go. It takes too much mental power to always worry about steps, words, exercise, sleep, etc.
I am a counter too, and that’s why you just put into words how I am feeling. I’ve been told to “wear life like a loose garment,” and that’s what I’m going to do this year. Too many moving parts around me.
I’ve been a big list maker my entire life. Fear of forgetting something, like a school assignment is what started it all. Then I realized it caused as much anxiety as relief. So one day, my husband suggested making a ‘done’ list. It felt so good to see all the things I had done! I now do a little of both. Right now, I’m getting ready for a big art show and my list helps me feel less anxious. But I do also put things I’ve done on a given day on my calendar list, too that gives me a sense of accomplishment.
I love the done list! And I make lists for the same reason but then I have to be careful they don't take over my creativity. I hope the show is a wonderful experience!
I love this post! I finally gave up the 8 checkboxes for my glasses of water in a day- admit it- everyone has had those boxes at some point in their lives.
I believe we are all aligning with the concept of "self-sovereignty" Can I trust myself to make decisions that are best for me in this day, this hour, this minute?
This is an interesting post. I used a productivity tracker last year for my writing especially because I have four projects but since mid February I haven’t touched the tracker. I do track submissions which can be a dismal occupation.
I so appreciate your point about Substack. Don’t write one with the wrong reasons. And don’t write the novel for traditional agents who are petrified of anything new.
I think it’s because I honor my practice. My meditation doesn’t need tracking as it’s a habit of mind. My writing is my job though unpaid. I gave myself a vacation and came back strong
Another crucial part is my productivity circle. We meet weekly and write. Each of our tribe of 8 takes a turn leading.
I love the phrase "habit of mind" that's what I want, the practices and ways of being in life that are part of me. That draw me forward. Thank you for that and thanks for reading my piece!
“Hold your targets and deadlines lightly, so they pull you forward, not make you feel bitch slapped.” And this will be my mantra for the week. Lovely post and yes, I reach a point with many things when I need to examine if I'm just doing it for the numbers and not for a good reason. Thanks for sharing!
Feels very timely to read this the day after I considered purchasing an oura ring not because I need one but because their marketing got its hold on me.
I am with you on this! I keep thinking about getting an Oura ring because I deliberately did not want to get an Apple Watch: too big and too clunky for me. Every so often I would re-read all the bumf on the Oura website, think seriously about purchasing, then think even more seriously about the cost of the ring itself and then the ongoing subscription. And I've always thought: 's**t that's a lot of money' and stopped myself. Now I am REALLY going to stop this. Thank you for giving me that last virtual 'shove' out of the way of Oura!
I’m glad. One question is what would you do differently with that information? What would you change? And if you genuinely want that change, is there a kinder way to do it? 🫶🏽❤️
Love this post and all the comments! After a 400+ day streak of 10K steps, I let myself “fail” and break the streak—so liberating! I did the same with my meditation app a year or so ago. No one—not even me, really—cares how many steps I take or how many days in a row I meditate. I don’t know that I’ll ever let go of my list-making propensity (I love the rush of crossing things off my list!), but now I meditate because I want to and because it helps me stay focused and present. I haven’t given up the Fitbit yet, but I like the idea of wearing it only a few days a week — baby steps toward letting it go.
that's me too. Break the streak and who the heck cares? It struck me after writing this post that it's also a very masculine thing all this counting and tracking. Hmmm....
Wish you were coming to Taos in less than two weeks!
I love this! You've articulated perfectly what I've found myself doing just recently. For me, it comes from finally trusting myself (childhood stories, etc.): to know what I need in the moment, to know that easing up won't mean abandoning the project, or good health, or whatever the goal might be. Thank you!
This was such a good thing to read first thing in the morning when I have a list of check boxes in my planner for writing projects I need to make progress on! I'm returning to myself after spending more than a year in various stages of caregiving for my mother-in-law and mom and coping with their deaths and I'm not sure where I'm headed next. I'm a freelance writer/blogger and I have a couple of projects I have to keep moving forward in the meantime. I have noticed that while the tracking can be helpful, it can easily tilt into obsession and take the focus away from going deeper into the moment and subject of the writing project. Right now, I need the structure of tracking, but I'd love to get to a more free-flowing space.
Kathy I've been there care giving my mom and it's hard. It's a big passage when they die and I think tracking things helped me feel I could find my way back, establish myself in the land of the life again, the normalcy and progress can be so stabilizing. But yes, then the tilt in to obsession -- always the middle way!!
So much truth here. Thanks for bringing it all into the open! I have deliberately avoided Apple Watches, pedometers, productivity measures, etc. for a long time. I started my Substack, not for anyone else, but for me, since I set myself a task (I know, right? I did this to myself!) to discard one thing from my home every day this year, and write about it. Originally I was just going to ping myself an email every day, then I found Substack through following the fabulous Leyla Kazim on Instagram and she talked about her Substack. I came onto the platform and loved what I saw, so signed up immediately, and started to find amazing resources.
So, I do have a goal to write here every day: even if I just write to say that I'm exhausted today and therefore I'm not going to write. Not putting pressure on myself.
There is one thing that is really hard for me to let go of: my Duolingo streak. I'm learning French and for the most part I really enjoy doing my daily lessons, but there are days when I'm not feeling it, HOWEVER I need that streak! I'm up to 1,438 days today, and I really want to get to 2,000. Should I stop then? Will I want to stop then? I have no idea!
I'm trying to let go of most other things to minimise the pressure I put on myself. Learning to say 'no' is one of the most powerful things I've learned to do.
I love this because isn’t the point of these tools to help us grow and enjoy life more? And if your streak feels good and is helping you do something hard - learn a language- then I say keep enjoying it. And the way you are approaching writing sounds delish!
"isn’t the point of these tools to help us grow and enjoy life more?" Yes! Despite my comment about tracking NOT being the meaning of life, I do think that trackers have a place, time and purpose as tools to help us do certain things we want to accomplish. Example from my life: NOOM. I used it for about 6 months to help myself get through and past an unhealthy weight gain from being on Prednisone. Now that I'm back down to my 'normal' weight, I cancelled my subscription. As per NOOM's suggestion, I still weigh myself every morning to help myself learn how certain foods affect my body (bloat, no bloat) but otherwise I'm done with the program. Got what I need, what I need has stuck with me and I am rolling along just fine without it. :-)
Holy Moly! I completely get this. Between November and March, I bought almost a dozen new planners - some dated, some not. I bought them to "plan" my upcoming retirement and all those wonderful projects I'm going to accomplish. Or to just get a sense of accomplishment in life in general. Suddenly it's April. Where did those months go? I have box of planners in various stages of use. But I'm not sure I've accomplished anything (did file my taxes)! And I think my project for retirement is rest. Real, restorative rest. At least for a while. And to remember how to write a coherent sentence again.
The first thing I gave up was the fancy pedometer/wristwatch thing that told me how many steps I'd taken and when I'd been sitting for too long and how I'd slept and when I should go to bed and wake up. I saw a comedy routine that lampooned this--how our devices were basically running our lives. And, yes, why was I letting myself be bossed around by this thing? So I ditched that.
Then I realized I never wanted to track my calorie intake again, either. What a way to suck all the joy out of eating.
I saw a post somewhere around the New Year's that talked about adding modalities to our lives. I don't really know what a modality, but what I liked was this idea of identifying the things in your life that bring you pleasure and joy and trying to add more of that to each day. So what are five things that make me happy? Writing. Walking. Spending time with friends. Being in nature. Reading. I don't have to track that, I can just be mindful about trying to fit those things into my day. I won't always get all of them. But the more I manage, the better I'll feel. That approach feels satisfying to me.
I adore this!! So true and beautiful. And yes it was our insurance company giving us fitbits and paying us to move in certain ways that made me start this whole WTF? With the counting. 👊🏼
Yes, there's a next-level insidiousness there.
i got so addicted to making that 3 bucks a day, a friend said "I will pay you to stop."
This feels like such a wonderful approach, adding in joy to our lives rather than measuring and cataloguing every last thing
It certainly feels like a much gentler way of going about it to me, Louise!
You are the kind voice of reason! I think it can helpful to use tracking to get yourself into a habit, but after awhile it can eclipse the goal and take on more meaning than it should.
That could have been my post. Perfect 👍🏽
I’ve been working on relaxing more over the last few years, a recovering perfectionist formerly in a corporate environment, I was a master at tracking and planning. I used to spend Sunday nights looking at personal yearly, monthly and weekly progress and plan the next week for virtually every area of my life. This year I haven’t even formalized goals and instead am experimenting with a new way. I wrote a letter of wonder to 2024, and my main criteria for decisions are comfort and joy. Some full weeks have had a loose plan with checkboxes but it’s funny how things get done even without them- maybe according to a bigger plan? Starting my Substack has brought a new challenge in relaxing but I’m hopeful that some experience will help making it less stressful/more relaxed and fun and don’t regret my decision to start it.
Oh love this. A letter of wonder - trying that!!
I give myself a sticker on days that I write. Green dot for novel writing, red dot for Substack and blue dot for when I update the log about my husband's illness. I think you are right though. It is possible to over track and also spending too much time on your phone. If you are in the flow and doing your stuff regularly then great.
Stickers are so fun!!
I don't know the meaning of life but I'm pretty sure it's not about tracking everything I do.
This… 👏🏼💛
Well said friend!!
Yes!!!
This was a wonderful post and exactly how I’m feeling. I started this year with signing up for a yearlong writing group and had goals, and then my dad fell down the steps and he was caretaking my mom and all that changed.
I haven’t given up, but I just let go. It takes too much mental power to always worry about steps, words, exercise, sleep, etc.
I am a counter too, and that’s why you just put into words how I am feeling. I’ve been told to “wear life like a loose garment,” and that’s what I’m going to do this year. Too many moving parts around me.
I’m glad I found your page!
Tammy wear life like a loose garment, that's so lovely, I will reflect on that. Welcome! And wishing your dad and mom peace. and you!
"Wear life like a loose garment" - perfect, just perfect
I’ve been a big list maker my entire life. Fear of forgetting something, like a school assignment is what started it all. Then I realized it caused as much anxiety as relief. So one day, my husband suggested making a ‘done’ list. It felt so good to see all the things I had done! I now do a little of both. Right now, I’m getting ready for a big art show and my list helps me feel less anxious. But I do also put things I’ve done on a given day on my calendar list, too that gives me a sense of accomplishment.
I love the done list! And I make lists for the same reason but then I have to be careful they don't take over my creativity. I hope the show is a wonderful experience!
I love this post! I finally gave up the 8 checkboxes for my glasses of water in a day- admit it- everyone has had those boxes at some point in their lives.
I believe we are all aligning with the concept of "self-sovereignty" Can I trust myself to make decisions that are best for me in this day, this hour, this minute?
Beautiful, I love that!
This is an interesting post. I used a productivity tracker last year for my writing especially because I have four projects but since mid February I haven’t touched the tracker. I do track submissions which can be a dismal occupation.
I so appreciate your point about Substack. Don’t write one with the wrong reasons. And don’t write the novel for traditional agents who are petrified of anything new.
I think it’s because I honor my practice. My meditation doesn’t need tracking as it’s a habit of mind. My writing is my job though unpaid. I gave myself a vacation and came back strong
Another crucial part is my productivity circle. We meet weekly and write. Each of our tribe of 8 takes a turn leading.
I love the phrase "habit of mind" that's what I want, the practices and ways of being in life that are part of me. That draw me forward. Thank you for that and thanks for reading my piece!
“Hold your targets and deadlines lightly, so they pull you forward, not make you feel bitch slapped.” And this will be my mantra for the week. Lovely post and yes, I reach a point with many things when I need to examine if I'm just doing it for the numbers and not for a good reason. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for reading Naomi. and you nailed it - let's not live for the numbers. I'll have that be my mantra for this week!
Feels very timely to read this the day after I considered purchasing an oura ring not because I need one but because their marketing got its hold on me.
Spend the money on something more fun!!
What’s more fun than stressing about my perfectly normal sleeping patterns???
Hee hee. Oh the conversation about sleep numbers with my husband… he’s obsessed. 🫣
I am with you on this! I keep thinking about getting an Oura ring because I deliberately did not want to get an Apple Watch: too big and too clunky for me. Every so often I would re-read all the bumf on the Oura website, think seriously about purchasing, then think even more seriously about the cost of the ring itself and then the ongoing subscription. And I've always thought: 's**t that's a lot of money' and stopped myself. Now I am REALLY going to stop this. Thank you for giving me that last virtual 'shove' out of the way of Oura!
I’m glad. One question is what would you do differently with that information? What would you change? And if you genuinely want that change, is there a kinder way to do it? 🫶🏽❤️
Love this post and all the comments! After a 400+ day streak of 10K steps, I let myself “fail” and break the streak—so liberating! I did the same with my meditation app a year or so ago. No one—not even me, really—cares how many steps I take or how many days in a row I meditate. I don’t know that I’ll ever let go of my list-making propensity (I love the rush of crossing things off my list!), but now I meditate because I want to and because it helps me stay focused and present. I haven’t given up the Fitbit yet, but I like the idea of wearing it only a few days a week — baby steps toward letting it go.
that's me too. Break the streak and who the heck cares? It struck me after writing this post that it's also a very masculine thing all this counting and tracking. Hmmm....
Wish you were coming to Taos in less than two weeks!
I love this! You've articulated perfectly what I've found myself doing just recently. For me, it comes from finally trusting myself (childhood stories, etc.): to know what I need in the moment, to know that easing up won't mean abandoning the project, or good health, or whatever the goal might be. Thank you!
Yes trust! Self trust! That’s what can get under minded. I was thinking that exact thing!!
This was such a good thing to read first thing in the morning when I have a list of check boxes in my planner for writing projects I need to make progress on! I'm returning to myself after spending more than a year in various stages of caregiving for my mother-in-law and mom and coping with their deaths and I'm not sure where I'm headed next. I'm a freelance writer/blogger and I have a couple of projects I have to keep moving forward in the meantime. I have noticed that while the tracking can be helpful, it can easily tilt into obsession and take the focus away from going deeper into the moment and subject of the writing project. Right now, I need the structure of tracking, but I'd love to get to a more free-flowing space.
Kathy I've been there care giving my mom and it's hard. It's a big passage when they die and I think tracking things helped me feel I could find my way back, establish myself in the land of the life again, the normalcy and progress can be so stabilizing. But yes, then the tilt in to obsession -- always the middle way!!
So much truth here. Thanks for bringing it all into the open! I have deliberately avoided Apple Watches, pedometers, productivity measures, etc. for a long time. I started my Substack, not for anyone else, but for me, since I set myself a task (I know, right? I did this to myself!) to discard one thing from my home every day this year, and write about it. Originally I was just going to ping myself an email every day, then I found Substack through following the fabulous Leyla Kazim on Instagram and she talked about her Substack. I came onto the platform and loved what I saw, so signed up immediately, and started to find amazing resources.
So, I do have a goal to write here every day: even if I just write to say that I'm exhausted today and therefore I'm not going to write. Not putting pressure on myself.
There is one thing that is really hard for me to let go of: my Duolingo streak. I'm learning French and for the most part I really enjoy doing my daily lessons, but there are days when I'm not feeling it, HOWEVER I need that streak! I'm up to 1,438 days today, and I really want to get to 2,000. Should I stop then? Will I want to stop then? I have no idea!
I'm trying to let go of most other things to minimise the pressure I put on myself. Learning to say 'no' is one of the most powerful things I've learned to do.
I love this because isn’t the point of these tools to help us grow and enjoy life more? And if your streak feels good and is helping you do something hard - learn a language- then I say keep enjoying it. And the way you are approaching writing sounds delish!
"isn’t the point of these tools to help us grow and enjoy life more?" Yes! Despite my comment about tracking NOT being the meaning of life, I do think that trackers have a place, time and purpose as tools to help us do certain things we want to accomplish. Example from my life: NOOM. I used it for about 6 months to help myself get through and past an unhealthy weight gain from being on Prednisone. Now that I'm back down to my 'normal' weight, I cancelled my subscription. As per NOOM's suggestion, I still weigh myself every morning to help myself learn how certain foods affect my body (bloat, no bloat) but otherwise I'm done with the program. Got what I need, what I need has stuck with me and I am rolling along just fine without it. :-)
Holy Moly! I completely get this. Between November and March, I bought almost a dozen new planners - some dated, some not. I bought them to "plan" my upcoming retirement and all those wonderful projects I'm going to accomplish. Or to just get a sense of accomplishment in life in general. Suddenly it's April. Where did those months go? I have box of planners in various stages of use. But I'm not sure I've accomplished anything (did file my taxes)! And I think my project for retirement is rest. Real, restorative rest. At least for a while. And to remember how to write a coherent sentence again.
Thanks so much! Lisa
rest sounds delish!!!