Apr 24Liked by Jennifer Louden, Marika Páez Wiesen
Two things I want to share about this lovely post Marika:
1. This quote made me think of Cheri Huber's book, _There's Nothing Wrong With You_: "Which only reinforces the same looping paradigm: Be good, get a treat. Be bad, get punished." I have given away at least a dozen copies of that book.
2. I was chatting with a student yesterday who was just lashing at his work habits (procrastination/overwhelm/perfectionism) in a way that made me so sad for what a colossal jerk his inner critic was being. I wish I had read this before our meeting, because I would've said, "How *human* of you!"
I haven't read Cheri in ages thanks for that reminder. And off to Taos soon and I will be saying "how human of us" all week in honor of Marika and you!
Aw, Liz, thank you. Now you can forward this essay to a dozen students! 😅 It can be so powerful to ask ourselves, "What if this procrastination isn't bad? What if it's TOTALLY HUMAN to hesitate diving into work that you care deeply about doing well?" And I'm off to find that book!
Apr 24Liked by Jennifer Louden, Marika Páez Wiesen
Love this! And I’m feeling very human at the moment. Getting rid of good/bad labels is no easy task, and awareness is the key—if only it fit all my locks! A phrase that has helped me a lot over the years comes from one of my dearest friends, Christina Baldwin. “Replace judgment with curiosity.” And we humans are indeed curious creatures! Thanks for the human twist on this.
The older I get the more I can accept that. Like yesterday in a moment of trying to do too much,
When I poured coffee beans in the water tank of the espresso machine instead of the grinder. And my husband had to spend 30 minutes taking the thing the apart to get the beans out. So human!
Apr 26Liked by Jennifer Louden, Marika Páez Wiesen
I really love this concept and approach to forgiving ourselves from less than perfect behavior and expectations. I am totally going to try this the next time I have an off morning and am grumpy with my kids...I'm just being human!
Apr 25Liked by Jennifer Louden, Marika Páez Wiesen
Thanks Jennifer and Marika for this great essay.
I appreciate the reminder to share hook from good or bad. It’s so interesting you say that because I have recently been working on the same thing. If I can arrive at a place of simply allowing it all to be as it is life will be more peaceful in my head.
Yes! Donna, thank you! Your comment reminded me of something Byron Katie always says: "How do I know it was meant to happen this way? Because it did." Powerful!
Apr 24Liked by Jennifer Louden, Marika Páez Wiesen
Absolutely loved this. I have such an easy time noting other's humanness, but a hard time with myself. I really think it is the key to unlocking a much more peaceful existence. :)
Thanks, Courtney! It's a work in progress, and I definitely identify with generally being able to offer others more grace than I offer myself. I guess that's because we're very HUMAN. :)
Apr 24Liked by Jennifer Louden, Marika Páez Wiesen
This is brilliant. Get Marika to write your post. It's a triple win also known as winning the trifecta. You get to show the spotlight on a successful client relationship. Marika makes her cameo appearance on your Substack. The readers get to see the back story of the "very human job" for you both.
Entirely welcome Marika. You have the same vibe as the gifted professionals and communicators in our community. Professional and communicator are easy to discern. The tricky bit is discovering giftedness. You tipped your hand by revealing your tendency to overthink everything, then way too many voices in the pile on. Hiding annoyance is another trait because the gifted mind has extreme sensitivity to time, which is why lines and waiting bothers us, plus sucking the marrow out of life before your time to die is major.
Apr 24Liked by Jennifer Louden, Marika Páez Wiesen
I love this reframe so much! And you're so right Marika, we assign meaning to "good and bad" but these are just made up concepts that we all have a different definition for. So why try to fit into these ideas, anyway?!
Yess! Sometimes I wonder why it's so easy to fall into vague definitions that only make us feel yuck, you know? Thanks for this comment, Nathalie. Fun connecting with a fellow experimenter! 💪🏽
Two things I want to share about this lovely post Marika:
1. This quote made me think of Cheri Huber's book, _There's Nothing Wrong With You_: "Which only reinforces the same looping paradigm: Be good, get a treat. Be bad, get punished." I have given away at least a dozen copies of that book.
2. I was chatting with a student yesterday who was just lashing at his work habits (procrastination/overwhelm/perfectionism) in a way that made me so sad for what a colossal jerk his inner critic was being. I wish I had read this before our meeting, because I would've said, "How *human* of you!"
I haven't read Cheri in ages thanks for that reminder. And off to Taos soon and I will be saying "how human of us" all week in honor of Marika and you!
Aw, Liz, thank you. Now you can forward this essay to a dozen students! 😅 It can be so powerful to ask ourselves, "What if this procrastination isn't bad? What if it's TOTALLY HUMAN to hesitate diving into work that you care deeply about doing well?" And I'm off to find that book!
Love this! And I’m feeling very human at the moment. Getting rid of good/bad labels is no easy task, and awareness is the key—if only it fit all my locks! A phrase that has helped me a lot over the years comes from one of my dearest friends, Christina Baldwin. “Replace judgment with curiosity.” And we humans are indeed curious creatures! Thanks for the human twist on this.
Deb, I love this reframe! And the name of your Substack, which seems apt to this conversation. ;)
Ha! Yes indeed. We’re all works in progress!
The older I get the more I can accept that. Like yesterday in a moment of trying to do too much,
When I poured coffee beans in the water tank of the espresso machine instead of the grinder. And my husband had to spend 30 minutes taking the thing the apart to get the beans out. So human!
Dear Christina! Dig this: we meet 30+ years ago after we did an underwear chain letter. I know, you can't make this stuff up.
Underwear chain letter?! I need more details.
we sent each other underwear!
Okay but whyyyy??? 🤣 funsies?
Some other author started it and we went along with it. 🤷♀️
I really love this concept and approach to forgiving ourselves from less than perfect behavior and expectations. I am totally going to try this the next time I have an off morning and am grumpy with my kids...I'm just being human!
Yess! Paige! So good to teach our kids, too, that having a human life means sometimes we’re grumpy!! 🤪
Thanks Jennifer and Marika for this great essay.
I appreciate the reminder to share hook from good or bad. It’s so interesting you say that because I have recently been working on the same thing. If I can arrive at a place of simply allowing it all to be as it is life will be more peaceful in my head.
Yes! Donna, thank you! Your comment reminded me of something Byron Katie always says: "How do I know it was meant to happen this way? Because it did." Powerful!
Ah yes, that is a great one!
Absolutely loved this. I have such an easy time noting other's humanness, but a hard time with myself. I really think it is the key to unlocking a much more peaceful existence. :)
Thanks, Courtney! It's a work in progress, and I definitely identify with generally being able to offer others more grace than I offer myself. I guess that's because we're very HUMAN. :)
I think it is too!
This is brilliant. Get Marika to write your post. It's a triple win also known as winning the trifecta. You get to show the spotlight on a successful client relationship. Marika makes her cameo appearance on your Substack. The readers get to see the back story of the "very human job" for you both.
Thanks for reading, Georgia! 🙏🏼
Entirely welcome Marika. You have the same vibe as the gifted professionals and communicators in our community. Professional and communicator are easy to discern. The tricky bit is discovering giftedness. You tipped your hand by revealing your tendency to overthink everything, then way too many voices in the pile on. Hiding annoyance is another trait because the gifted mind has extreme sensitivity to time, which is why lines and waiting bothers us, plus sucking the marrow out of life before your time to die is major.
I love this reframe so much! And you're so right Marika, we assign meaning to "good and bad" but these are just made up concepts that we all have a different definition for. So why try to fit into these ideas, anyway?!
Yess! Sometimes I wonder why it's so easy to fall into vague definitions that only make us feel yuck, you know? Thanks for this comment, Nathalie. Fun connecting with a fellow experimenter! 💪🏽
Right? So helpful to me!
Lovely Marika and somehow very freeing.
Thank you, so much, Peter! It is so freeing isn’t it? Wishing you an incredibly human day!