Such a coincidence, Jen! We just moved to Reno, NV, and I was just telling a friend yesterday that after 30 years in NM, I am giving myself the freedom to question everything about who I think I am. I was remembering my intrepid explorer self before we got older step brothers and I became "the smart one." ❤️
I know you worked with Hiro Boga, who teaches about Deva's, and the communion with the Deva's of nature, the nature spirits, all the realms of the natural world, is so important and yes, has been so lost in this modern world. I long for home, and it seems that our true home is in a magical dimension that has been lost to us, a place of peace and beauty and well being where we are connected to our true home and to one another on a whole different level of love and beauty and heart. I call in Gwynaelwyd, Holy Blessed Homeland, and I write about it. There, we come home to our true selves and are celebrated and uplifted and supported to express that true essence. It is enchanting, it is magical, it is what we long for..I love what you are speaking to, it is what I also am about...
I love the idea of being in (or rather returning to) our wild girl eras. I am no longer ignoring the ache for painting from my imagination. Little girl joy and wildness and connection to nature are calling me more and more as I get older. I love that quote too: "I believe as we age..." Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much, Jennifer. This was so incredibly beautifully written. And as others have said a reminder. As someone who has been burned by both Christianity and the toxic self-help world I stepped away for a few years to just live in the non-magical world. Which was needed. But as I Traveled back to California, where everything always was so magical for me, and ironically, during Venus and Mercury in retrograde 🤔. Well, let’s just say I’m reconnecting with my own form of magic that doesn’t have all of the toxicity to it. So thank you for naming that we can find our way back and we need to find our way back right now to reclaim our sensuous pleasure power, and just being part of this world and made for this world unlike what the Maga people would tell us with they’re not of this world mantra
Thank you Holli for reading!! I had to step away from self-help in all its forms, and find my way without so many blathering bullshit ideas and con-artists AND without leaving magic behind. May it be so.
I’m working on this now, trying to peel back the layers of expectations and life’s challenges to reconnect with who I am at the very core of my being. It’s one of the most exciting times in my life. I’m grateful for the privilege that allows me to do this.
Also, can you please write an essay about how you came to accept your mother? I’m in it deep right now and could use any advice I can get from those who have walked this path before me.
I came here to say that I also felt the energy in those words about accepting your mother. I’ve been grappling with this (my whole life, really) specifically with her unyielding zealot loyalties instead of the nice lady who taught me kindness and compassion. She’s almost unrecognizable. Very isolating feelings & experience. It helps to know there are others. Thank you for the rest of your excellent essay too :)
I tuned right into your use of the word rediscovering. As we move on the path of our life, we always bring who we have been along with who we are in that moment. I think some of the magic is in slowing down just enough to rediscover and recreate who we want to be. This is a lovely reminder Jen.
Totally agreed, Jen! Realizing our family farm was "my place" changed everything for me. And your wonderful book stack reminded me of two others you might enjoy: Morris Berman's "Coming to Our Senses" and "The Reenchantment of the World."
Oh, and one more: "Ensouling Language: On the Art of Nonfiction and the Writer's Life" by the recently (way-too-soon) passed Stephen Buhner.
Interestingly, I have been seeing Pinkola-Estes "Women Run with the Wolves" coming out of hiding and back onto a lot of women's reading piles these past few months. So ... something is in the air. Perhaps we are all following (or weaving with) the same Golden Thread?
After going through early menopause, I'll be 50 in two months. I'm still struggling with a sense of grief for the person I 'used' to be, while also wondering who I could become in the second half of my life - and accepting who I am right now. A while back I was having a recurring mental image/feeling of myself aged about 9, playing with friends in a local field. My counsellor suggested it could be some sort of message to myself now about when I felt most free and happy. It makes sense, because since the menopause I've recognised just how much conditioning girls go through, especially when we reach adolescence and grow into women. We lose that feeling of all just being kids regardless of gender, once society tells us what it expects from us and punishes us if we diverge from that. Postmenopausal women threaten society as we are no longer fertile - but sexuality can alchemise into sensuality. "The Spell Of The Sensuous" feels right on that wavelength for me - thanks so much once again Jennifer for daring to articulate these themes and feelings.
PS I'm in the UK so I don't know if you can watch this or not, but 'The Change' on Channel 4 had just returned for a triumphant second series - I think you might enjoy it!
Claire there is some powerful research that as girls we start to lose our sense of self around 9 because we become aware of societal conditioning. Fascinating your image. And thanks for the Change recommendation have been meaning to watch that!!
Yes in my upcoming book Women Therapists on Healing Trauma a mestiza therapist writes about the trauma of being forcibly disconnected from the land and how to heal that.
It’s just looking at the first draft as is and then writing a narrative outline of what needs to happen now, given how the story developed in the first draft, both developing ideas that appeared and fixing story holes that opened. ❤️
Yes.... This....Mic Drop....
"I believe as we age, we’re called to become who we were before we became who we are."
This resonated for sure. At a certain point we drop the ego and rediscover the person we've always been.
Yep and I think we can o lu do that when we do all the ego things and grow because of them.
thanks for reading Ali!
Such a coincidence, Jen! We just moved to Reno, NV, and I was just telling a friend yesterday that after 30 years in NM, I am giving myself the freedom to question everything about who I think I am. I was remembering my intrepid explorer self before we got older step brothers and I became "the smart one." ❤️
May the questioning bear beautiful fruits!
I know you worked with Hiro Boga, who teaches about Deva's, and the communion with the Deva's of nature, the nature spirits, all the realms of the natural world, is so important and yes, has been so lost in this modern world. I long for home, and it seems that our true home is in a magical dimension that has been lost to us, a place of peace and beauty and well being where we are connected to our true home and to one another on a whole different level of love and beauty and heart. I call in Gwynaelwyd, Holy Blessed Homeland, and I write about it. There, we come home to our true selves and are celebrated and uplifted and supported to express that true essence. It is enchanting, it is magical, it is what we long for..I love what you are speaking to, it is what I also am about...
that’s so lovely!
Looks like we’re from the same generation and I too am desiring to inhabit fully the wildish self I left behind long ago. Cheers!
thank you Julie!
I love the idea of being in (or rather returning to) our wild girl eras. I am no longer ignoring the ache for painting from my imagination. Little girl joy and wildness and connection to nature are calling me more and more as I get older. I love that quote too: "I believe as we age..." Thanks for sharing!
I do think it’s a call many of us feel. I hope I can do it justice in my book! And painting from your imagination sounds delish!
Thank you so much, Jennifer. This was so incredibly beautifully written. And as others have said a reminder. As someone who has been burned by both Christianity and the toxic self-help world I stepped away for a few years to just live in the non-magical world. Which was needed. But as I Traveled back to California, where everything always was so magical for me, and ironically, during Venus and Mercury in retrograde 🤔. Well, let’s just say I’m reconnecting with my own form of magic that doesn’t have all of the toxicity to it. So thank you for naming that we can find our way back and we need to find our way back right now to reclaim our sensuous pleasure power, and just being part of this world and made for this world unlike what the Maga people would tell us with they’re not of this world mantra
Thank you Holli for reading!! I had to step away from self-help in all its forms, and find my way without so many blathering bullshit ideas and con-artists AND without leaving magic behind. May it be so.
Aye you too? Glad you’re keeping the magic and reminding me to keep it too! And may it be so!
I’m working on this now, trying to peel back the layers of expectations and life’s challenges to reconnect with who I am at the very core of my being. It’s one of the most exciting times in my life. I’m grateful for the privilege that allows me to do this.
Also, can you please write an essay about how you came to accept your mother? I’m in it deep right now and could use any advice I can get from those who have walked this path before me.
I came here to say that I also felt the energy in those words about accepting your mother. I’ve been grappling with this (my whole life, really) specifically with her unyielding zealot loyalties instead of the nice lady who taught me kindness and compassion. She’s almost unrecognizable. Very isolating feelings & experience. It helps to know there are others. Thank you for the rest of your excellent essay too :)
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. The mother stuff is so intense. You are not alone!!
You aren’t alone in your Mother Wound suffering. Thinking of you!
I will sure try. She’s been gone for awhile so it will take some looking back. Thinking of you!
beautifully said!!!!
I tuned right into your use of the word rediscovering. As we move on the path of our life, we always bring who we have been along with who we are in that moment. I think some of the magic is in slowing down just enough to rediscover and recreate who we want to be. This is a lovely reminder Jen.
Totally agreed, Jen! Realizing our family farm was "my place" changed everything for me. And your wonderful book stack reminded me of two others you might enjoy: Morris Berman's "Coming to Our Senses" and "The Reenchantment of the World."
Oh, and one more: "Ensouling Language: On the Art of Nonfiction and the Writer's Life" by the recently (way-too-soon) passed Stephen Buhner.
Interestingly, I have been seeing Pinkola-Estes "Women Run with the Wolves" coming out of hiding and back onto a lot of women's reading piles these past few months. So ... something is in the air. Perhaps we are all following (or weaving with) the same Golden Thread?
thank you!!!
After going through early menopause, I'll be 50 in two months. I'm still struggling with a sense of grief for the person I 'used' to be, while also wondering who I could become in the second half of my life - and accepting who I am right now. A while back I was having a recurring mental image/feeling of myself aged about 9, playing with friends in a local field. My counsellor suggested it could be some sort of message to myself now about when I felt most free and happy. It makes sense, because since the menopause I've recognised just how much conditioning girls go through, especially when we reach adolescence and grow into women. We lose that feeling of all just being kids regardless of gender, once society tells us what it expects from us and punishes us if we diverge from that. Postmenopausal women threaten society as we are no longer fertile - but sexuality can alchemise into sensuality. "The Spell Of The Sensuous" feels right on that wavelength for me - thanks so much once again Jennifer for daring to articulate these themes and feelings.
PS I'm in the UK so I don't know if you can watch this or not, but 'The Change' on Channel 4 had just returned for a triumphant second series - I think you might enjoy it!
Claire there is some powerful research that as girls we start to lose our sense of self around 9 because we become aware of societal conditioning. Fascinating your image. And thanks for the Change recommendation have been meaning to watch that!!
Yes in my upcoming book Women Therapists on Healing Trauma a mestiza therapist writes about the trauma of being forcibly disconnected from the land and how to heal that.
I needed to hear this today. I’ve been floundering in a storm of life-change. These ideas will help me find a path again. Thank you.
Karen wishing you good listening as you find your path.
Fab! Thank you. I need this reminder to go back to this book!
it's such a rich wild read!
Omg! This totally resonates me with me! Thank you for putting it into words!
Beautiful 🤩 ! And what is a reverse outline? Sounds like a life review… 🤨😘😳😌😊🥰all the feels!
It’s just looking at the first draft as is and then writing a narrative outline of what needs to happen now, given how the story developed in the first draft, both developing ideas that appeared and fixing story holes that opened. ❤️
Ooh this resonated so much! Thank you!
Have you come across this book? I had so many aha moments reading it
https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Within-Emily-Hancock/dp/0449905594/ref=mp_s_a_1_8?crid=ZZI5JMS6EGC2&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NmL56e0E-c7yA96bl5NnxOPi3dU8d22JzNK3K9oS2HGf_388-U2-3NYNDo_1BX9HZd8bKYU9APoQ7sqsSUMoKXymPy8ugkBtBarSiD6i_CQ3UMWdbedgiBxd_vVJJ3dlmq1M9L5-nS302NoyfMWYRRZ2Z172iFPZEwOY25js373IbgV0GLi0cSOzBjYH09C7V1xqOi_Jj2sN8W4RxzS6CA.Wnmo16E9QUgNMWaPP9wK7rk53EPAWFtLj4rX5hVD9GQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+girl+within&qid=1743627673&sprefix=the+girl+within+%2Caps%2C376&sr=8-8
no I will check it out thanks!!