This was beautiful and profound and moving and everything in between, Jen. I hope you share what you’re you’re doing when you’re ready—I feel as if I’m in a similar spot. Im looking for people to learn from while feeling a little lost. I’m trying to love the world and connect with it while carrying anxiety as a flock of birds in my chest. Your story and words mean a lot to me. To all of us. ❤️
This post touched me deeply, and it is synchronistic. I had a similar experience just this last week. In January, I began connecting with my step-aunt with whom I've never had a relationship. I had only met her and interacted with her a few times in my life. Her brother, my stepdad has been gone for a decade, but my aunt stayed in touch with my mother. When my mother had an accident and went into rehab, I let my aunt know, and this started a daily email sharing that was rich and very satisfying. I was having a blast getting to know her and sharing ideas (turns out we had a lot in common). My own mother is a narcissist and an energetic drain, and my aunt was showing up in my life as a nurturing and mutually-celebratory presence. And then last week, her son called to tell me she'd died of a massive heart attack. Those three months of our sharing are precious to me, but I can't help but feel sad about all the years we could have shared time and ideas together. So I understand your loss and your new understanding of how precious our moments are.
Oh Jen, this one hits my heart and brings tears. I thank you for sharing and calling out the truth that our time is limited. Our time with people, to repair, to connect, is uncertain. And we forget that in our being human. We forget until moments like this wake us up, if only briefly. I’ll call my brother today instead of putting it off. Because you never know when that last chance will come. Hugs to you as you miss your friend and feel all that comes with this awareness. 💜
Jennifer, first of all, Happy Birthday! Secondly...I'm so sorry you heard this news on your birthday. It reminded me of a similar experience I had back in 2021. I got the call in the early morning. My distanced friend's son called to tell. me his mother passed away in the middle of the night. She suffered a blood clot. Our relationship was extremely close for many years but due to painful relationships she had become an alcoholic and I just couldn't handle it. My only consolation was a belief that now that she was unencumbered from her very human brain, she understood...and knows I loved her.
this really does hit home. How many friends and loved ones have passed and my thoughts going to what I wish I would have said or done that I didn't. Who in my life have I let go of in an unkind way and vice versa? Life is like this, and as the years wear on, the lessons pile up. Hopefully we learn to be easier on others, and on ourselves. We just never know when the last moment will be...you are a blessing and inspiration....
You are stitching good Karma Jen and that is a beautiful thing. You have touched so many in every way a person can possibly be touched. I, for one, believe she knows. No consolation, I understand, but just hold on to your good. Tears.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Many of us hide behind slights and hurts we perceive from others, and are afraid to listen to how we may have hurt them, too. Your piece is such a good reminder to allow ourselves to be vulnerable so we can repair precious relationships. Thank you.
Wow...ain't life grand hey? God I am so sorry Jen. I am glad you are taking time to just be in you and your experience....and not feeling you have to share it all. Bravo. For what it is worth, I adore the book "The Smell of Rain on Dust: turning grief into praise" by Martin Prechtel with my friends and community. He talks about how Grief is the highest form of praise we can give that which we have lost. Also, if it would be helpful, I just did a 5 part post series on Death and Grieving from a deeply feminine/shamanistic perspective. Happy to share if you would like the link. Sending love.
This was beautiful and profound and moving and everything in between, Jen. I hope you share what you’re you’re doing when you’re ready—I feel as if I’m in a similar spot. Im looking for people to learn from while feeling a little lost. I’m trying to love the world and connect with it while carrying anxiety as a flock of birds in my chest. Your story and words mean a lot to me. To all of us. ❤️
I will try. I’m scared but looking at the relationships I very much do want to repair ❤️❤️
Oh, Jen...you made me cry. Loss is a constant reminder for us to engage, embrace, and spend time with those we love. Sending you so many hugs.
It is. And your name came up yesterday I’m in Taos with some of your buddies!
Awwww...and you are the one who brought us together! Wish I were there with you all!!
Well now you’ve made me cry. What a beautiful and heartbreaking post. Thank you for being you, my friend.
Thanks for being my friend.
This post touched me deeply, and it is synchronistic. I had a similar experience just this last week. In January, I began connecting with my step-aunt with whom I've never had a relationship. I had only met her and interacted with her a few times in my life. Her brother, my stepdad has been gone for a decade, but my aunt stayed in touch with my mother. When my mother had an accident and went into rehab, I let my aunt know, and this started a daily email sharing that was rich and very satisfying. I was having a blast getting to know her and sharing ideas (turns out we had a lot in common). My own mother is a narcissist and an energetic drain, and my aunt was showing up in my life as a nurturing and mutually-celebratory presence. And then last week, her son called to tell me she'd died of a massive heart attack. Those three months of our sharing are precious to me, but I can't help but feel sad about all the years we could have shared time and ideas together. So I understand your loss and your new understanding of how precious our moments are.
I am so sorry Marie. I had something similar happen with my much older half-sister. May our hearts hold the good we did get.
Oh Jen, this one hits my heart and brings tears. I thank you for sharing and calling out the truth that our time is limited. Our time with people, to repair, to connect, is uncertain. And we forget that in our being human. We forget until moments like this wake us up, if only briefly. I’ll call my brother today instead of putting it off. Because you never know when that last chance will come. Hugs to you as you miss your friend and feel all that comes with this awareness. 💜
I hope the call felt good!!!!
Yes! It's Truth telling, and that always feels good. Thank you.
Jennifer, first of all, Happy Birthday! Secondly...I'm so sorry you heard this news on your birthday. It reminded me of a similar experience I had back in 2021. I got the call in the early morning. My distanced friend's son called to tell. me his mother passed away in the middle of the night. She suffered a blood clot. Our relationship was extremely close for many years but due to painful relationships she had become an alcoholic and I just couldn't handle it. My only consolation was a belief that now that she was unencumbered from her very human brain, she understood...and knows I loved her.
I know she knew you loved her.
This is a beautiful essay and an important reminder for all of us. I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️
thank you!!
this really does hit home. How many friends and loved ones have passed and my thoughts going to what I wish I would have said or done that I didn't. Who in my life have I let go of in an unkind way and vice versa? Life is like this, and as the years wear on, the lessons pile up. Hopefully we learn to be easier on others, and on ourselves. We just never know when the last moment will be...you are a blessing and inspiration....
You are stitching good Karma Jen and that is a beautiful thing. You have touched so many in every way a person can possibly be touched. I, for one, believe she knows. No consolation, I understand, but just hold on to your good. Tears.
Sharing with us is a form of repair, perhaps? I wonder if Anna's spirit can sense your resolve, even if she's not here in body.
Happy birthday and thank you for this reminder not to take our people for granted. 💗
Thanks Cristy!! That’s a lovely thought.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Many of us hide behind slights and hurts we perceive from others, and are afraid to listen to how we may have hurt them, too. Your piece is such a good reminder to allow ourselves to be vulnerable so we can repair precious relationships. Thank you.
Right to the heart.
Your birthday wish is fantastic - connection is what we need and it's often not easy. Thank you for being open to working toward that for yourself.
Thank you to your friend's sister, who seems to have an interest in or innate skill in connection.
May you be gentle with yourself as you carry your friend forward.
thank you for this (it applies all too well.)
Wow...ain't life grand hey? God I am so sorry Jen. I am glad you are taking time to just be in you and your experience....and not feeling you have to share it all. Bravo. For what it is worth, I adore the book "The Smell of Rain on Dust: turning grief into praise" by Martin Prechtel with my friends and community. He talks about how Grief is the highest form of praise we can give that which we have lost. Also, if it would be helpful, I just did a 5 part post series on Death and Grieving from a deeply feminine/shamanistic perspective. Happy to share if you would like the link. Sending love.
First of al, Happy Birthday! You are a light in this world. Keep shining!
Secondly, so very sorry for the loss of your friend. She is still in your heart.