Way to go, Jen! It’s hard to give ourselves permission to be ‘good enough’ after a lifetime of goals and striving. My risk is to be less driven and more in the moment. It’s hard for me and I need to always be reminding myself. Life is too short to be living always in the future.
yes! A friend and were hanging out yesterday afternoon and I was bemoaning the fact I’ve been somewhat stuck in the novel and how much I want to get done with the first draft, and she said, “But you love the process, what’s the hurry?” !!!!!!
First, I’m savoring Why Bother — I’m reluctant to come to the end! It’s been the perfect book at this point in my journey (I’m going to buy an extra copy to take to the women’s group I joined just last Thursday https://soulinmotionbend.com/tending because someone there may need it now too).
Your risk to be enough may resonate because it may be what you’ve been seeking all along and now you see that you have been all along. (Why do I hear that in Glenda the Good Witch’s voice?🪄) I can feel the literal care you took with and put into Why Bother; it’s wonderful how you innately communicated it. 💕
This post is a writing prompt for me. I’m processing a LOT after reading old journals spanning 40 years. Between endless lists of what I needed to do to become perfect and gut wrenching anxiety in relationship after relationship, my poor soul had no rest, no ability to “be enough” for a kind man, no sense of how to love myself. All I’ve ever wanted, apparently, was for someone to hold me and say, You’re safe, you’re loved & you’re enough. This morning, I know that someone has to be me. 🪷
Thank you so much for savoring Why Bother? That means the world to me. And yes, I totally think you nailed it, this risk has been brewing? becoming? forming? since probably adolescence. I love that you are using this as a writing prompt — genius. This past January I purged most of my journals because randomly opening and reading were all about not being enough and trying to do something to change myself and I was so bored reading all that. Much love!
I find this is a common theme for women -Being Good Enough- and having to explain to people, including yourself, that you are. Since the beginning of time, it has been the plight for women. In a recent PTSD evaluation [of me], the doctor actually said "your confidence in yourself and your sense of worth are outstanding." And he said it like those qualities within women are rare and PTSD should come with a side of insecurity and self-doubt. I'm here to tell you, it does not!
My risk is challenging and breaking the patriarchal system every chance I get.
Dear Jen, Hurray! I'm so so happy, you wrote this. Because you are good enough! No matter what! And I love love love the picture with the fingers! And if you need some further encouragement or start to doubt again, I can highly recomment an article by Kathryn Chetkovich. I read it 2 weeks ago and it was writers-mind blowing. It is called "Envy" (I read it in a German translation in an anthology about female writers. She frees herself in the end, too, and concludes (my summary): I am not doing the work I was born for (as a female), maybe even not the work I am best at, but I do the work I choose to do... YEAH! So simple and so difficult... SO RIGHT.
By the way, I am reading Rest Is Resistance... the first few pages I was in resistance to it (not possible........) until yesterday my doctor said something about me being too disciplined... Yes. Then I read on, started crying, feeling very exhausted, and very relieved and grateful🤗
Thank you for that Martina, what a great quote "doing the work I was born for (as a female), maybe even not the work I am best at, but I do the work I choose to do..." that''s it! and I'm glad the book is helping you. Rest the way you choose!
I’m too tired to write a proper response apart from yes! And yes again. I’m exhausted by my illness at the moment and have to give in to the fact that I simply have to rest most afternoons. And it’s hard! I’m writing a novel too, as well as my poetry and I’m never ever good ENOUGH. So enough with the ENOUGH stuff… I wrote a lot in response after all ❤️
I think the only way to stay the course and get through the ‘almosts’ is community. Surrounding yourself with like minded sorts that are like you. They cannot not write. I have a young character who says to my older artist “I think you should not give a f..k” She means go your way even if others question your direction. Carry on. Btw I think you are already there with the novel. We are doing word clouds to focus on the essence of our novels in my group. That focus will help us figure out the endings. It’s already in there,Jen!
Jennifer--What a great theme and writing contest, "It's Not Too Late..." Instead of lunch break, I gave in to devote time to look at all of the comments today. Two thoughts: 1) Amazing and 2) Is it too late to jump into that pile of hundreds of comments, like jumping into a pile of leaves you neatly made? Anne Boyd is already legend and writes well. Will you be going any further with your experiment? Oh, last question, how will I know which of my quests or epiphanies you want to share with your readers? I'm like the Rolling Stones in that I'm still creating, still delighting, but I have so many songs and so little time so you have to shout out which one you want to hear. Again.
Good to know. Which of the favorites do you want to hear about? Call out the topic you know your readers would love to hear about and if it happened to me, I'll provide the color commentary.
I can so relate to this post in so many ways. I’ve never felt good enough at anything. I’ve always been good at many things but not exceptional at just one thing. I’ve felt like an under achiever for many years. I’m that person with so many dreams and always struggling to complete my daily to do list. I’m trying to be accepting of what I have done and keep focusing on what I want to achieve. I need to give myself more love I know.
FAC yes!!!!!! Also Sitting in a doctors surgery reading this trying to not to get weepy. But yes. Yes. Yes. Thanks for sharing Jen, I’m with you in the experiment of holding the hand of ‘not good enough’ and giving it a squeeze, and letting her know we’ll find a new role for her 🩷
Reading this, I was musing on my feeling that a piece I’m working on isn’t quite right = me being not good enough. 🤦🏻♀️ I’d settled on the theme for it: Immersion, but am still wrangling it.
And then I read:
‘I’m ready to risk not being good enough so I can be immersed in creating. And living!’
Way to go, Jen! It’s hard to give ourselves permission to be ‘good enough’ after a lifetime of goals and striving. My risk is to be less driven and more in the moment. It’s hard for me and I need to always be reminding myself. Life is too short to be living always in the future.
yes! A friend and were hanging out yesterday afternoon and I was bemoaning the fact I’ve been somewhat stuck in the novel and how much I want to get done with the first draft, and she said, “But you love the process, what’s the hurry?” !!!!!!
First, I’m savoring Why Bother — I’m reluctant to come to the end! It’s been the perfect book at this point in my journey (I’m going to buy an extra copy to take to the women’s group I joined just last Thursday https://soulinmotionbend.com/tending because someone there may need it now too).
Your risk to be enough may resonate because it may be what you’ve been seeking all along and now you see that you have been all along. (Why do I hear that in Glenda the Good Witch’s voice?🪄) I can feel the literal care you took with and put into Why Bother; it’s wonderful how you innately communicated it. 💕
This post is a writing prompt for me. I’m processing a LOT after reading old journals spanning 40 years. Between endless lists of what I needed to do to become perfect and gut wrenching anxiety in relationship after relationship, my poor soul had no rest, no ability to “be enough” for a kind man, no sense of how to love myself. All I’ve ever wanted, apparently, was for someone to hold me and say, You’re safe, you’re loved & you’re enough. This morning, I know that someone has to be me. 🪷
Thank you so much for savoring Why Bother? That means the world to me. And yes, I totally think you nailed it, this risk has been brewing? becoming? forming? since probably adolescence. I love that you are using this as a writing prompt — genius. This past January I purged most of my journals because randomly opening and reading were all about not being enough and trying to do something to change myself and I was so bored reading all that. Much love!
I find this is a common theme for women -Being Good Enough- and having to explain to people, including yourself, that you are. Since the beginning of time, it has been the plight for women. In a recent PTSD evaluation [of me], the doctor actually said "your confidence in yourself and your sense of worth are outstanding." And he said it like those qualities within women are rare and PTSD should come with a side of insecurity and self-doubt. I'm here to tell you, it does not!
My risk is challenging and breaking the patriarchal system every chance I get.
yes yes YES!!!!
Dear Jen, Hurray! I'm so so happy, you wrote this. Because you are good enough! No matter what! And I love love love the picture with the fingers! And if you need some further encouragement or start to doubt again, I can highly recomment an article by Kathryn Chetkovich. I read it 2 weeks ago and it was writers-mind blowing. It is called "Envy" (I read it in a German translation in an anthology about female writers. She frees herself in the end, too, and concludes (my summary): I am not doing the work I was born for (as a female), maybe even not the work I am best at, but I do the work I choose to do... YEAH! So simple and so difficult... SO RIGHT.
By the way, I am reading Rest Is Resistance... the first few pages I was in resistance to it (not possible........) until yesterday my doctor said something about me being too disciplined... Yes. Then I read on, started crying, feeling very exhausted, and very relieved and grateful🤗
Thank you for that Martina, what a great quote "doing the work I was born for (as a female), maybe even not the work I am best at, but I do the work I choose to do..." that''s it! and I'm glad the book is helping you. Rest the way you choose!
I’m too tired to write a proper response apart from yes! And yes again. I’m exhausted by my illness at the moment and have to give in to the fact that I simply have to rest most afternoons. And it’s hard! I’m writing a novel too, as well as my poetry and I’m never ever good ENOUGH. So enough with the ENOUGH stuff… I wrote a lot in response after all ❤️
enough with the enough stuff — i love that! feel better!!!
I think the only way to stay the course and get through the ‘almosts’ is community. Surrounding yourself with like minded sorts that are like you. They cannot not write. I have a young character who says to my older artist “I think you should not give a f..k” She means go your way even if others question your direction. Carry on. Btw I think you are already there with the novel. We are doing word clouds to focus on the essence of our novels in my group. That focus will help us figure out the endings. It’s already in there,Jen!
thanks friend! i appreciate that so much!
Jennifer--What a great theme and writing contest, "It's Not Too Late..." Instead of lunch break, I gave in to devote time to look at all of the comments today. Two thoughts: 1) Amazing and 2) Is it too late to jump into that pile of hundreds of comments, like jumping into a pile of leaves you neatly made? Anne Boyd is already legend and writes well. Will you be going any further with your experiment? Oh, last question, how will I know which of my quests or epiphanies you want to share with your readers? I'm like the Rolling Stones in that I'm still creating, still delighting, but I have so many songs and so little time so you have to shout out which one you want to hear. Again.
It can never be too late to jump in!
Good to know. Which of the favorites do you want to hear about? Call out the topic you know your readers would love to hear about and if it happened to me, I'll provide the color commentary.
I can so relate to this post in so many ways. I’ve never felt good enough at anything. I’ve always been good at many things but not exceptional at just one thing. I’ve felt like an under achiever for many years. I’m that person with so many dreams and always struggling to complete my daily to do list. I’m trying to be accepting of what I have done and keep focusing on what I want to achieve. I need to give myself more love I know.
Here’s to us both enjoying our lives free of this story!
FAC yes!!!!!! Also Sitting in a doctors surgery reading this trying to not to get weepy. But yes. Yes. Yes. Thanks for sharing Jen, I’m with you in the experiment of holding the hand of ‘not good enough’ and giving it a squeeze, and letting her know we’ll find a new role for her 🩷
I hope you're okay!!
Thanks Jen,
Reading this, I was musing on my feeling that a piece I’m working on isn’t quite right = me being not good enough. 🤦🏻♀️ I’d settled on the theme for it: Immersion, but am still wrangling it.
And then I read:
‘I’m ready to risk not being good enough so I can be immersed in creating. And living!’
💫
Hope it helps! I spent a lot of time working with this while writing this morning, just being with it without being at war with it.