I had a conversation with a young twenty-something last week about exactly this. Their position was opposed, being in love with life was not enough, not purposeful, and in their view bordered on selfish. They are at a time of angst and turmoil and energy, they are flummoxed by all they want for themselves and the world and by hurdles and politics, seeking love and work and their tribe of friends. For them loving life is something to do when one is old! Oh honey, I want to say.
I may have felt that way at 20 as well. But now I think loving life is the most daring and political and gorgeous thing we can do. For me, loving life is loving people. Family, friends, neighbors, loose connections, close connections-that brings joy. Loving nature, getting out in it. Art! Moving my body. All of it makes me a better contributor to the world.
Thanks, Jen. Love this and now I want to find my own slow read! Middlemarch anyone?
YES! Exactly! and if we love this much, we can't help but do things that make the world better. YES! and Middlemarch, oh my gosh that would make an amazing slow read. I love that book!
I've been reading and thinking about "purpose" in life -- you know, "living life on purpose" and "finding your purpose," etc. There's another side to that coin: a "purposeless" life (German speakers, see https://youtu.be/94YQKzsD02c ). Purpose implies cause and effect: if I have a purpose, or goal, I pursue certain activites or thoughts to achieve a related outcome, which in mainstream USA society can easily entrap us in the endless hamster wheel of "if this, then that, if this..." But loving life and helping other love it is amorphously individual and simultaneously collective. It sends feelers out into the world (or streamers: remember the rainbow streamers we folks at a Taos retreat once imagined as we all returned to our abodes?). And those feelers create a vast web in which cause and effect is no longer discernable, we stop aiming at specific outcomes and let the connections surprise and nourish us. Love this!
Jen, this post speaks to me, and I am savoring the conversation. Richard Rohr is a touchstone for me in this regard. He talks about the ego construction essential for the first half of life and the ego de-construction we must participate in during our second half. To live authentically, stripped of pretense, grounded in today, grateful for beauty, concerned for suffering, falling into Spirit and moving out purposefully into community, cultivating peace within and without and between, cultivating hope and beauty where we are planted. This path is countercultural, but it also threatens the ego mind that wants to keep us safe at ALL costs, casting about in every direction, establishing our importance in the world, ruminating on the past, scanning the horizon for potential dangers. So much of the work for me is seeing beyond my small chattering thoughts.
Love this! A couple of years ago I attended a university reunion. I'm in my late 50s and it was the first one I'd been to. I imagine that in my 20s or 30s it would have been unbearable, full of thrusting and one-upping, but by now, we've all had our rough edges tumbled off. There was a tinge of melancholy about it too, but it was pleasant to just feel that people were being themselves, enjoying each other's company.
I love your video! It makes me smile. I'm right there with you in believing that this life is it. My purpose is to love this life - the one that I have. I think that being grateful for the tiniest things, having an innate sense of curiosity, trying to be a good human, and reminding myself to stay present have led me to this point. I'm 67 and it took me decades to realize in my soul that this is it. Thanks for this post!
I love to run. I imagine I'm Mary Oliver when I'm out on the road or trail. Pay attention, Notice every detail. Oh what Joy! What a wondrous day to be alive! Thank you so much for this beautiful post, question and quote Jennifer. “Be in love with life and help others be in love with life.” And Keep dancing! Cheers to us Goof Balls. :)
Jennifer. So good. When I began attending church in the 1970s, a big push was to "do" things for God. The more you volunteered, the closer to God's heart you were considered to be. I didn't know any better. Then life! A broken neck and two brain surgeries took most of my abilities to "do" much of anything. I was confused, sad, and even felt guilty! But I kept hearing a refrain in my head..."I" just want you to enjoy your life. The greatest commandment is to love God with all your mind and all your strength and to love others as yourself.
Sharing what you love as well. When I was writing my book and interviewing people about Excel , a recurring theme was that people learned to love Excel from other people who loved Excel ...
I love this! It's so true. I can see how loving life is exactly what I set out to do when I quit my life two years ago. I was so far from loving life. I could hardly see beyond my small life. Since then I've been out in the wide world and so fallen in love with life again!
I love this post! For me falling in love with life means getting lost in the moment and holding on to our sense of wonder. I am finding myself sharing this more often these days --because I think it's important to share with young folk that loving life takes intentionality in not letting life overwhelm us with its tasks and responsibilities, to the point where we lose the wonder. PS I sent you an email sometime again about the book I published following the scholarship I received for your online retreat in 2020. I never heard back from you. Could you email me? I'd love to reconnect! I
Hi Rita yes wonder!! And I remember that email and I swear I answered. Losing my marble. I apologize. I’m so happy you published your book!! Drop a link in here so I can share!
This is beautiful, Jen, and I appreciate your saying it and how you said it. There is a ring of truth to this, the two-part aspect -- to be in love with life, and also to help others be in love with life. This to me underscores the necessity of listening as a primary way to see below the appearance a person presents and glean what's actually wanting to emerge into visibility. Thank you for articulating this. I'll remember it and, hopefully, allow it to become real in my life.
Life is this juxtaposition of being a writer and thus an observer, but a lover of life is an active participant. Feel the wind, pump the adrenaline, don't try to harness curiosity, and understand that a creative life is an interactive life. Without listening and engaging with others we hover, by taking another's hand we fly.
It reminds me of two Mary Oliver quotes, who you mentioned. 1) Are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life? 2) Tell me, what is it you plan to do. With your one wild and precious life?
It's so easy to run through life without looking up and around, going along with the rules we're given (which don't seem to be benefitting us much!).
For me it's been simple things like getting off my phone, seeking out fun and playfulness, doing what I like instead of what I think I should be doing, being compassionate to myself and others, spending time with the people I love. .
I love the idea of being in love with life and helping others to do the same. I think we have to be so intentional about this though, especially in busy modern life. I felt a burst of joy and inspiration after reading this- thank you!
What a beautiful post. For me, I think the psychology of being in love is so helpful in that it extends a generous perspective onto everything else, giving each situation the benefit of the doubt. So, I wholeheartedly agree, being in love with life IS a revolutionary act—one that pays it forward simply be being. Thank you for sharing this wisdom!
Hello Jen. I have saved your recent posts to read when ready and so enjoyed this one. It is Sunday morning, Father's Day, and I am wondering what my purpose is. I will step into being in love with life and helping others to be there. It is a very practical way to talk about sharing our light.
I had a conversation with a young twenty-something last week about exactly this. Their position was opposed, being in love with life was not enough, not purposeful, and in their view bordered on selfish. They are at a time of angst and turmoil and energy, they are flummoxed by all they want for themselves and the world and by hurdles and politics, seeking love and work and their tribe of friends. For them loving life is something to do when one is old! Oh honey, I want to say.
I may have felt that way at 20 as well. But now I think loving life is the most daring and political and gorgeous thing we can do. For me, loving life is loving people. Family, friends, neighbors, loose connections, close connections-that brings joy. Loving nature, getting out in it. Art! Moving my body. All of it makes me a better contributor to the world.
Thanks, Jen. Love this and now I want to find my own slow read! Middlemarch anyone?
YES! Exactly! and if we love this much, we can't help but do things that make the world better. YES! and Middlemarch, oh my gosh that would make an amazing slow read. I love that book!
I am ready for a Middlemarch slow jam!!
I've never read it! I am seriously in!
I reread it about 15 years ago and wow!
I've been reading and thinking about "purpose" in life -- you know, "living life on purpose" and "finding your purpose," etc. There's another side to that coin: a "purposeless" life (German speakers, see https://youtu.be/94YQKzsD02c ). Purpose implies cause and effect: if I have a purpose, or goal, I pursue certain activites or thoughts to achieve a related outcome, which in mainstream USA society can easily entrap us in the endless hamster wheel of "if this, then that, if this..." But loving life and helping other love it is amorphously individual and simultaneously collective. It sends feelers out into the world (or streamers: remember the rainbow streamers we folks at a Taos retreat once imagined as we all returned to our abodes?). And those feelers create a vast web in which cause and effect is no longer discernable, we stop aiming at specific outcomes and let the connections surprise and nourish us. Love this!
what a glorious way to describe it Paula!
Jen, this post speaks to me, and I am savoring the conversation. Richard Rohr is a touchstone for me in this regard. He talks about the ego construction essential for the first half of life and the ego de-construction we must participate in during our second half. To live authentically, stripped of pretense, grounded in today, grateful for beauty, concerned for suffering, falling into Spirit and moving out purposefully into community, cultivating peace within and without and between, cultivating hope and beauty where we are planted. This path is countercultural, but it also threatens the ego mind that wants to keep us safe at ALL costs, casting about in every direction, establishing our importance in the world, ruminating on the past, scanning the horizon for potential dangers. So much of the work for me is seeing beyond my small chattering thoughts.
https://cac.org/
Absolutely exactly where I am at. It’s profound and strange and not compatible with working 😎 - thank you for this so beautiful!
Yes! This path that leads us to our true selves, past the trying to the being.
Love this! A couple of years ago I attended a university reunion. I'm in my late 50s and it was the first one I'd been to. I imagine that in my 20s or 30s it would have been unbearable, full of thrusting and one-upping, but by now, we've all had our rough edges tumbled off. There was a tinge of melancholy about it too, but it was pleasant to just feel that people were being themselves, enjoying each other's company.
I only went to one and I was only 40 and it was all sharp edges. It would be so different now!
That’s beautiful. 💛 I haven’t had the courage yet (58 now).
I love your video! It makes me smile. I'm right there with you in believing that this life is it. My purpose is to love this life - the one that I have. I think that being grateful for the tiniest things, having an innate sense of curiosity, trying to be a good human, and reminding myself to stay present have led me to this point. I'm 67 and it took me decades to realize in my soul that this is it. Thanks for this post!
took me decades too so we are proof it’s not too late! a big hug to us both!
Totally relate to this. 68 and finally taking it in more and more.
I love to run. I imagine I'm Mary Oliver when I'm out on the road or trail. Pay attention, Notice every detail. Oh what Joy! What a wondrous day to be alive! Thank you so much for this beautiful post, question and quote Jennifer. “Be in love with life and help others be in love with life.” And Keep dancing! Cheers to us Goof Balls. :)
Running good balls unite!
Yes!! Let's GO!
Jennifer. So good. When I began attending church in the 1970s, a big push was to "do" things for God. The more you volunteered, the closer to God's heart you were considered to be. I didn't know any better. Then life! A broken neck and two brain surgeries took most of my abilities to "do" much of anything. I was confused, sad, and even felt guilty! But I kept hearing a refrain in my head..."I" just want you to enjoy your life. The greatest commandment is to love God with all your mind and all your strength and to love others as yourself.
what a beautiful story!
Sharing what you love as well. When I was writing my book and interviewing people about Excel , a recurring theme was that people learned to love Excel from other people who loved Excel ...
yes! sharing what you love -- of course!!
I love this! It's so true. I can see how loving life is exactly what I set out to do when I quit my life two years ago. I was so far from loving life. I could hardly see beyond my small life. Since then I've been out in the wide world and so fallen in love with life again!
Hi Anne, loving your substack! I love the idea of falling in love with the wide world. Yes more of that!
I love this post! For me falling in love with life means getting lost in the moment and holding on to our sense of wonder. I am finding myself sharing this more often these days --because I think it's important to share with young folk that loving life takes intentionality in not letting life overwhelm us with its tasks and responsibilities, to the point where we lose the wonder. PS I sent you an email sometime again about the book I published following the scholarship I received for your online retreat in 2020. I never heard back from you. Could you email me? I'd love to reconnect! I
Hi Rita yes wonder!! And I remember that email and I swear I answered. Losing my marble. I apologize. I’m so happy you published your book!! Drop a link in here so I can share!
This is beautiful, Jen, and I appreciate your saying it and how you said it. There is a ring of truth to this, the two-part aspect -- to be in love with life, and also to help others be in love with life. This to me underscores the necessity of listening as a primary way to see below the appearance a person presents and glean what's actually wanting to emerge into visibility. Thank you for articulating this. I'll remember it and, hopefully, allow it to become real in my life.
Life is this juxtaposition of being a writer and thus an observer, but a lover of life is an active participant. Feel the wind, pump the adrenaline, don't try to harness curiosity, and understand that a creative life is an interactive life. Without listening and engaging with others we hover, by taking another's hand we fly.
Loving yourself first and gratitude = loving life.
elegant and beautiful!
It reminds me of two Mary Oliver quotes, who you mentioned. 1) Are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life? 2) Tell me, what is it you plan to do. With your one wild and precious life?
It's so easy to run through life without looking up and around, going along with the rules we're given (which don't seem to be benefitting us much!).
For me it's been simple things like getting off my phone, seeking out fun and playfulness, doing what I like instead of what I think I should be doing, being compassionate to myself and others, spending time with the people I love. .
I love the idea of being in love with life and helping others to do the same. I think we have to be so intentional about this though, especially in busy modern life. I felt a burst of joy and inspiration after reading this- thank you!
That’s beautiful! I’m working on less phone time too.
What a beautiful post. For me, I think the psychology of being in love is so helpful in that it extends a generous perspective onto everything else, giving each situation the benefit of the doubt. So, I wholeheartedly agree, being in love with life IS a revolutionary act—one that pays it forward simply be being. Thank you for sharing this wisdom!
that's a cool way to think about Carl, applying that generous perspective of being in love to everything. thanks for reading!
Hello Jen. I have saved your recent posts to read when ready and so enjoyed this one. It is Sunday morning, Father's Day, and I am wondering what my purpose is. I will step into being in love with life and helping others to be there. It is a very practical way to talk about sharing our light.
I’m glad it resonated dear one!!
Such a perfect read as I ease into my Sunday morning. Thank you, Jennifer!
Thanks for reading! Happy Sunday!