127 Comments
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Mindy Hedley's avatar

I’m not watching any news and taking naps. Not being very social. Not because I am hiding. Because I am choosing to put myself in a place to pretend, mask, work to make others feel better. Until I feel better I am prioritizing me. And at the age of 63 this is the first time I ever have!

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Oh that’s awesome! And what a great frame for your self care. ❤️

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Mindy Hedley's avatar

Thank you. I meant to say , I am choosing to NOT put myself in a place….

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

i got you!

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Ann Clyde's avatar

I was just looking at my journal and thought I have no words to write. None. My journal is my religion and lifeline, and I have nothing. I’m angry, feeling betrayed, not grasping the depth of ignorance and selfishness that is going to propel us into a world of hurt. At 65, I’m done with pretending. Just ordered some dark truffles from Godiva, organizing my art studio, and minding my own business.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

I feel you Ann. 100000% feel you. I share your rage. May words come back. May art help. I know chocolate will. ❤️

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Ann Clyde's avatar

The chocolate definitely will🖤

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Debbie Weil's avatar

let us know how it goes with the dark truffles!

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Ann Clyde's avatar

👍🏽

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Connie Knapp's avatar

Yes, there are no words. I'm unable to process this AND I'm reading Heather Cox Richardson and Robert Hubbell to help keep me sane.

We all need "a wee rest" as we rest up to resist evil and tyranny once more.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Hi Connie!! Yes wee rest and time to grieve. Those of who are well informed see what’s coming and it’s impossible to digest.

Say hi to your lovely wife!

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Parthenon_1's avatar

What is it that you see coming? Sincere question. I voted for Trump ONLY because I’m a Republican Conservative and did not believe Kamala was a serious candidate with only two months of campaigning. I also follow Umair Haque on X (formerly Twitter) who is predicting a Great Rupture of culture and society. His handle is @umairh, if inclined. And he writes The Issue. My daughter is a staunch Democrat and now I’m doubly worried about her as she and my husband both voted for Kamala. My husband cried. He’s originally from Iran and is traditionally a Republican but he cannot stand DJT. So I understand both sides here and I am very sensitive to those who did not want him in office again. I, too, was dismayed when this election came down to Biden & him again. It’s a bizarre world.

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Michelle Johnson's avatar

I live in a purple state. I am an Independent. I agree with a lot of what you said, and my family is a mess too right now. People are literally hiding their voting choices at this point so that we can all get though the holidays. It is crazy, and yes it is a bizarre world.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

That’s so hard. Tearing families apart. It’s the division that worries me.

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Barb Klein's avatar

I so wish you had asked this question before you cast your vote. And, have you talked with your husband and daughter about what they're so upset about? That's probably a lot more meaningful than anything anyone here could offer.

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Parthenon_1's avatar

If course I’ve talked with my husband and daughter extensively before during and after the election. My daughter has calmed down a lot. My husband is still livid.

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Holli McCormick's avatar

I would be super interested in talking with you more. I am working on a couple of pieces for my YT to help both sides understand the other....for I think both sides are asking. My story: I was a former far right republican up until 2012 (believed the media/church that told me Obama was the anti-christ). Did not vote at all in 2016 or 2020 cuase my vote I was soo completely fed up with both sides. I practiced what I called conscious apathy - putting my energy into a community I was creating. But after losing roe v wade I started to reconsider. I too was flaberguasted to see both old white men again...but started to wake up when I learned about project 2025 - which is not a conservative platform move, but a sweeping change that would make it progressive/liberal. I started to tune in and really listen to Kamala and trump - and was actually impressed with Harris and horrified by Trump. I didn't think he was as bad as what the media was painting him to be...but after watching closely last 3-4 months with his comments about mens' genitals and obscene gestures to a microphone - I am scratching my head wondering how people voted for that (not to mention a convicted criminal). To me he seems like unserious candidate. So I am just so curious how or if you saw these things he did and how you took that. Hope you will feel safe enough to reach out. I just really want to do my best to understand and stop listening to the media that is pitting us against each other.

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Anne Boyd's avatar

I love your daugther's note!! There is nothing like the love of our children. Peace be with you, Jennifer.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Thanks Anne. ❤️❤️❤️

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Barb Klein's avatar

Oh my gosh, me too!! So sweet and real!

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

She’s a lovely woman.

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Linda Hoenigsberg's avatar

Hi Jen...so many (many!) of us are in the same head space. We aren't giving up, but we need a break from all the madness. I am pretending that I am living when the only way to find out what is going on in the world is to wait for Tom Hanks to show up in town and read the newspapers from a month ago. I'm reading good fiction and baking, and sitting in front of the fire as the weather cools way down and the sky fills with snow clouds. I'm taking a beat. Not forever, but for the foreseeable future. In the meantime, you take all the time you need and we'll be here when you feel it's time for you.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

I love that Tom Hank image. Take good care. It matters!

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Shalagh Hogan's avatar

I love the Tom Hanks has to read me the news strategy! That's quite honestly how I do all the time with news. What needs to get to me will eventually. I managed not to view any pictures of pres 45 almost his entire regime. Going to try to do the same again. Take care!

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Jennifer Perry's avatar

Yes same here! I managed to not see his pic or hear his voice last time…will do the same again.

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Shalagh Hogan's avatar

Amen!

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Debbie Weil's avatar

Hi Jen, curiously I was immediately motivated to action, after being stunned by the results. I’m starting with an effort to make my small town government, for my little community in Maine, more transparent and accountable. That feels like a positive step!

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Yes I have seen that with friends too. It’s a great response and usually where I go. But not this time. Which feels terrible honestly but my sweet daughter coached me on that. :)

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Holli McCormick's avatar

yea - I am also there. Feel so much better when I am taking action. Left a long note above on what I am doing above. But I love, love, love the local action. yes and!!

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michelle hutchings-medina's avatar

I typically don't write on forums but was saddened by Jen's post because I feel such a connection through the workshop I attended. I was sad to hear that all that lovely, positive energy was shuddered. I'm disappointed too but not surprised. As a voter, African-American woman, and Howard University graduate, I was hoping for a different outcome. My circle is wide so I kind of felt the country might go in a different direction. Instead of going inward, reach out when the time is right to others who might think differently. Ruminating can create narratives which make us feel lost, helpless, and us vs them. What I got from it is that a lot of people are hurting and desperate for a change. Connection is the answer and always will be...Just my two cents.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Connect, only connect. ❤️❤️❤️

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Terry Novak's avatar

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

This country has suffered many unthinkable challenges but the good and honest have always prevailed because they did not give up or surrender their vision for a better future.

Terry

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

yes thank you Terry!

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Holli McCormick's avatar

I love Gandi's work. His take -- at least I think he had this take -- was that the same energy that set up a State could not be employed to remove it. You have to get out of that energy, create something new and starve the old...it still drives my thikning and now work/activism

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AnnieKate Nicholson-Phillips's avatar

I am so there with you Jennifer. So many people are reeling. Yes. Rest. Recoup, regroup. What a blessing the note from your daughter is. I have actually pulled out my emotional support Teddy, Brandy Bear and set him front and center on my desk. Thank you for checking in. Heather Cox Henderson is the only thing I am looking through at the moment. I enjoy your newsletter immensely and look forward to whatever you feel moved to engage, when you are ready to engage.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Annie I so appreciate your words. Thanks for echoing my experience and helping me feel I can come back from this. ❤️❤️❤️

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AnnieKate Nicholson-Phillips's avatar

Jennifer, I am not "there" yet, still weeping and staring into the middle distance in disbelief, but I can feel things move inside. Just felt it a little this morning, a little bit of regrouping going on. I'm doing yoga, painting, and writing, my salvation trifecta. We will come back from it. It's a slow process but that's because the feelings run so deep, so intense. If they surfaced now, they would burn our fingers to pray. Blessings of comfort...

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Blessings of comfort, what a beautiful phrase!

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Lucy Suros's avatar

I’m breathing. I’m thinking small. I’m not reading news. I’m letting my body and spirit rest. I’m paying attention to the burning fire of anger in my chest. I’m gaining strength, coiling, so that I will have the energy to wrestle with what’s coming.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

I love that image. Coiling!!!

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Janice Airhart's avatar

Thanks for this. I feel the same--I've been unfocused all week. If you're wondering what to write about, I'd love to see someone develop a women-centered writing project that expresses our anger/sadness/disappointment, but with a sense of resolve for how to move forward.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

thanks for that idea Janice, I appreciate it!

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Sally Doran's avatar

I can’t let the election results lead to my mind racing ahead to the unknown future and creating all of the awful situations possible under Trump 2.0. He’s a pathological liar so what actually happens from his list of outrageous, harmful and punitive “concepts” is unknown. I don’t want to experience them now.

At this point, I’m building on my resilience, shutting out MAGA voices around me, and staying present. And nurturing the flickers of hope that haven’t been extinguished.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

nurture those flickers of hope!

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Julie Fleming Wickham's avatar

I’m glad to “hear” your voice, Jen, and I’m glad you’re taking the time you need.

When you return, in your own good time, I’d be interested in your thoughts on art and defiance/opposition/resistance/etc for those of us who are not political or directly cultural writers. I know there’s a role there; I think it isn’t my role, but I’m also wondering if I’m thinking about it too narrowly. I’d love to know your thoughts about writing and art in these times.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

that would make a great post -- maybe it's a simple as when we make art, we come alive and that aliveness often, but not always, leads us to connect and care for others...

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Julie Fleming Wickham's avatar

That makes sense to me. I keep thinking of a line from Rent: “the opposite of war isn’t peace, it’s creation.” Here’s hoping.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Here’s hoping!!

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Mary Dixon's avatar

Hi there, I am grieving with you, but from Canada, as a Canadian. But actually this week I feel less grief and more resolve, more anger, knowing not only did this happen in the US but that it's coming for us. I won't mention the actual politics of that, but know that there were undoubtedly thousands of Cat Ladies for Kamala here in Canada rooting for you all, and we are here in spirit supporting our American sisters. I regret any time I was tentative on facebook, not sharing enough of the stuff I was reading, in favour of "keeping the vibe high", not being "so negative". People prefer my pretty nature and cat pix. But no more, we have to address these threats to our own country, there are threats from outside manipulating everyone's understanding and preying on existing ruptures within.

So, we all rest, regroup, keep finding a way to make our art and finding the beauty after some sleep, and then figure out how to stem this tide at the grassroots level.

PS I have had your "Why Bother" book on my night table for a while now, read it when it first came out and dip back in now and then. You are an inspiration.

PPS Yes Heather Cox Richardson is another real gift in your country, she should get a presidential medal or something.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Mary I so appreciate your kind words, they lifted my spirit! Yes, we do need to speak up. That's essential.

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Christine D'Arrigo (once Mary)'s avatar

I allowed myself to totally sink into the grief (almost identical to the grief of losing a loved one: the sudden remembering, the sighing, the tears, the withdrawal). I'm emerging a little by focusing exclusively on the small joys and important connections. Also writing despite the difficulty. Cleaning and reorganizing a space at a time (always my jam but now extra important for that sense of order in chaos). And napping, of course. Rest well.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

It is like losing a person. Exactly. I’ve been organizing and cleaning too. I almost have inbox zero!

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Barb Klein's avatar

I also felt a strong grief so familiar to losing my loved ones. The loss of hope and of the imagined future. The what’s the point of any of this? Haven’t found the energy for organizing and clearing but that sounds promising. Thanks for sharing your experience.

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Donna Druchunas's avatar

I lost my writing voice the first time (2016). It never came back the same way but I started making comics. Right after the election I filled 2 whole sketchbooks with "Post-Election Angst" drawings. And I continued to make drawings that told stories and educational info in that format ever since. I slowly became able to make comics and art that tell the stories I used to be able to write in prose.

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Jennifer Louden's avatar

Donna that is so cool. What a way to adapt. And I’m so sorry you lost your voice. May your comics helps us cope!!

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